From Fat to Thin and Back Again: Part 5

There I was standing 2 feet away from a family friend who had just confronted me in a crowded area right next to my Dad. At first I laughed because that is what I do when I get nervous, I laugh. Oh this? I have no idea how THIS happened, pointing down to the fact that my pants were falling off.

It was May, I had been at it for a few months and it showed. Pants that were once stressed at the seams were now falling off and requiring me to roll them at the waist. That kind of thing doesn't just happen and our family friend knew that. She had three kids of her own - two of which were girls. She had her eye on me because Mom was home, getting better, like always.

She pushed a little harder. Are you sure you are feeling okay? The last time I saw you those pants were tight. Yes, I am fine, maybe I have just been forgetting to eat. You know, I've been busy.

Maybe you should see a doctor, she suggests.

She pushed hard. Pulling the doctor card out would have worked when I was younger but I was fourteen - practically raised. I knew a bluff when I heard one. No, no. I insisted.

Just then, I heard my Dad's voice. Hey, I've noticed too. You used to be Fat and now kid, I can almost see through you. Maybe it's all that running Mom has been telling me about, or maybe you are having growth spurt.

My mind races.

Wait...did he just say I was fat? No. He said USED to be fat. Running? Yes! The running is a good reason.

Yes Dad, it must be ALL that running, I said to him half jokingly knowing that was the best way out of this awkward situation.

Let me go get a hamburger - you look like you are starving, he says walking away.

Brilliant, Dad! Starving, I think to myself while ignoring what our family friend is trying to tell me about eating right. Starving indeed.

******

The hamburger couldn't come quick enough. I was starving.

By this time I was running low on pills and the drawer was now empty. I had consumed them all - with the exception of the few I had left at home for the weekend. I was rationing those pills and a weekend which required lots of work and long hours was one I preferred real food over pills - if given the choice.

Actually, if given the choice, I always preferred to eat.

After the hamburger arrived I consumed it in front of everyone. See you got nothing to worry about, I said licking my fingers thinking I was fooling everyone.

*******

My Dad and I arrived home very late that Sunday night. I went straight to bed and Dad, well, I figure he talked with my Mom.

Monday after school my Mom confronted me.

She opened the third drawer down to the left of the oven from her wheelchair. She was wearing her nightgown. She was always wearing her nightgown. I was on the opposite side of the counter getting nervous because that was THE DRAWER.

Mom fumbled through the drawer and asked if I had "seen" her pills while holding up empty boxes. She accused me of taking them. I denied it - like any teenager about to get in trouble.

She knew. I knew she knew. She knew I knew she knew.

The accusations quit shortly after they started.

She told me to quit taking the pills. I told her only after she promised never to use them herself. We both agreed.

I left, went to my room and counted the pills. I had 12 left.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4