Because nothing says crazy quite like discussing goldfish suicide rates

It was 1:50 am.

I was desperately trying to fall back asleep after putting Aspen back to bed for the umpteenth time and, I'll just come right out and say it, I was a little scared.

Scared?

Yeah, it seems that watching the marathon of Paranormal State a few weeks ago has only one benefit - making me think suddenly The Dark is something to fear. Every creak, every shift, every bubble from the fish tank sounds as if the spirits are starting a coup to take over my bed while I lay there helplessly wondering if they'll kill me or just torture me with noises all night.

I decide on the latter and continue trying to fall back asleep but settling down proves difficult after you've convinced yourself there are ghosts in your room trying to kill you and your family.

Welcome to my world.

You can see why my husband has forbid me to watch scary shows but, you know, I don't really listen to him.

It also doesn't help that we stayed up until midnight (an epic feat) watching Funny Games, which if you didn't know is an awful movie where two deranged young men take a vacationing family hostage and proceed to kill them off one by one starting with their child. I know, huge surprise I was a big fat scared-y cat last night, isn't?

So it's now 2 am and I desperately try to chase sleep that would not come. Suddenly, I hear a noise that is not at all familiar, like someone throwing something. A few seconds later I feel something bounce onto my bed. My heart races - I knew they were in here. Hesitant I roll over and look for the object that They (the ghosts) threw onto my bed. But, there is nothing. My mind races - This must be what it feels like to go crazy.

I laid there as still as possible plotting my next move.

Breathe, I keep telling myself, Bob is right there if I need him.

So, I wait...knowing if They were trying to scare me they'd be at it again in no time.

A few minutes pass, I scan the room incessantly trying to see Them but see nothing.

Suddenly, I hear another strange noise, this time I can see where I hear the noise coming from and, again, I see nothing. Strange, I think, but seeing nothing gave me the courage to stand up and turn on a light.

To my relief, I see that "They" is just our goldfish, Goldie, flopping around on the floor.

This is Goldie's second suicide attempt in as many days. I think Goldie needs a psychiatric evaluation, although, I am certain she is doing this for the attention after all not once has she left a note.
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Please note Goldie is doing well and resting this morning after a traumatic attempt to take her own life last night. As for me, well I'm just as crazy as ever if only slightly more tired because of the fifteen minutes of sleep I lost thinking the ghosts in my house were trying to kill me.