(WARNING: This post is like a fart in a frying pan. Bear with me. Not, Bare with me. I mean, we don't want you naked.)
So, I can't seem to get over it.
Life is supposed to go the way I plan. Hello, Life? Get the memo! Okay, so I totally didn't plan to get laid off. And, I certainly didn't plan to get laid off only to get work again but this time be able to work from home. But, what choice did I have?
For what it's worth I embraced my new plan. I like plans. I think plans shouldn't change. And they sure as shit shouldn't change 4 times in as many months.
The plan was that I was supposed to work from home...part time. Figuring my work could, for the most part, be done at night. Leaving the rest of the day for things. Things that would make both me and my children happy and well rounded. Things like swimming...gymnastics...the park. Things that have already been paid for. Things that my son was looking forward to.
The whole working part of the scenario was supposed to be squeezed into my life, not end up dictating it.
It was most certainly not supposed to go from not working one day to putting in 10 hours the next.
I have kids. They have needs. We have no childcare.
The economy sucks.
And, I can't turn it down...especially if it's only a few weeks.
In a few weeks I can return to normal.
Only that's the thing.
If this can happen now, who is to say it won't continue to happen? That there won't be another company in desperation next month? That I actually just traded in my perfectly predictable life for one that can get shaken up at any minute.
In turn, trading predictability for turmoil.
If I continue to turn my life upside down on a regular basis will that cause my children to think that is normal?
Of course, I can say no. But, with no comes no work. You get pushed down the queue and next time they'll use your replacement.
It's a slippery slope.
I want to say it'll be just this once. But, I know better. I know I can't say no. I know I'll beat myself up either way.
It's only money.
The root of all evil.
Why can't I just give the checker my homemade soaps in return for some Tri-tip steaks? Or, trade the farmer some plumbing for an entire cow?
Let's just cut out the middle-man and barter, shall we?
Okay, so, maybe not.
(Why am I suddenly compelled to have me some Bartles & James on a porch and whittle wood?)
I'm mourning.
Yesterday, my life was settling. The glass was starting to become clear. Now? 24 short hours later. It's cloudy. Uncertain.
And, I hate uncertainty.
45 comments:
Dude...
that sucks. I have a set schedule and would be totally destroyed if it were disrupted. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I had a set non-schedule ruined. Imagine all the people I'd kill.
-Chris
Weather Moose
I had a post recently about an article I read in Yoga Journal about how "life dances" and we have to learn to dance with it...
Now that you've gotten that out, I hope you feel better...I can't imagine what this must feel like, but I know that you will come through with flying colors...and your kids will learn to "go with the flow" when life hands them stuff they don't want.
Shoot! The guilt is hitting you too.
It's so hard to do everything justice--spend more time with kids or work more for your family's bottom line.
I've been thinking about getting some kind of job when all my little ones go to school this year too. Hang in there and let me know how you figure it out.
As for me, I am just letting my head spin and feeling the guilt seep between my shoulder blades.
I am with you on the whole bartering system. I wish I could figure out a way to do it.
I like what the poster said about dancing with life, problem is, with kids, there are a few other dancers forced into a dance they don't get. I understand. The enonomy sucks and you do what you need to do. Trust me, that is something those little dancers will understand albeit later :)
I am with you on the whole bartering system. I wish I could figure out a way to do it.
I like what the poster said about dancing with life, problem is, with kids, there are a few other dancers forced into a dance they don't get. I understand. The enonomy sucks and you do what you need to do. Trust me, that is something those little dancers will understand albeit later :)
I don't know what to say... I am in the same predicament. We are poorer than dirt and I quit my job to take care of my TEENAGER! And now they want me back. It is a tough one.
I do feel your pain. It is so hard to change directions at the drop of a hat. I am one who hates change, unless it is me who is doing the changing, lol. I guess they won't let you work from home for the new company? Tell them you need daycare in your office?? I know I am such a dreamer, eh?
Kandace,
Life is hard sometimes and no matter what, you are a great mom doing the best that anyone can do with what comes your way. Your kids will learn from you. They will be disappointed but by disappointed they will realize their accomplishments and know that getting thru a plan is an accomplishment in itself. I have some days that I could take if I knew a little ahead of time and maybe I could help when the cards aren't falling like they should. Just call me the Ace in the hole.
MOM
yeah....but it gives you an excuse to down some whiskey oday.
Tell them that I'll do it. I could use a decent job.
I hate when I ahve plans set and something throws them off. I'm not very good at the go with the flow kind of thing so I would be a wrek right now to. I also don't like the unknonwn.
I'm sure it will all work out and in the mean time just get drunk. :)
Look at this web site, it's the barter system!
http://www.u-exchange.com/home
Oh, that sucks. I have always said that money is evil. You have too little, and it causes problems. You have too much, and it causes a whole 'nother set of problems.
My hubby is kind of in a similar situation. His work is now offering OT. We obviously want to take as much as possible b/c we can build up our savings, pay off debt, etc, but his added work comes at the cost of less family time. It's a very difficult decision that doesn't have a concrete right or wrong answer. Good luck!
ooooo I have SO been there.
For many years I was a consultant in apparel bis. And it would take me from totaly sleep in SAHM to FULL time hard core work out of the house for about 3-4 months at a time. During which my mom would pick up the slack and get kids from school and all that. And my husband and I would have to coordinate all the rest. My kids totally adjusted. They learned to really appreciate when I am NOT working. And so did I. I has been great. best of both worlds really. But the coordination of it all is rough. Get organized. Ask for help from friends and family. Heck barter services for sitting if you can. In the long run- you will not regret it. good luck...and congrats on someone wanting to hire you!
I am all for the barter system! I say bring it back - it'll help the human part of the economy!
It does seem that once all the ducks are in a row, someone comes along & squeezes the fart from one of them. Then all the rest scatter...
I wish it were easier for you to say no, but I'd be right with you - for the money. Every little bit helps.
I understand this predicament. I seem to have been on this non stop roller coaster ever since I've had kids. I know the answer is to get out of consulting and find something more normal. But I'm not yet willing to make the concessions that the paycut cause. It's a tough balancing act. When you figure it out, will you let me know the secret please?
I understand. It's so hard when life just drops you a BOMB, especially when it comes to your work or your livelihood. With my husband losing his job, I can honestly say I know. I wish I could find some at-home work to ease our financial strain at least until he rejoins the workforce. It's hard to sit by and apply for jobs but know you don't have the experience to get them. I know God is really our cornerstone right now; and yours, too. It's so wonderful to know He knows the end of the tunnel is where it is, even if you can't see where you're going.
There is something on my blog for you :)
I need predictability too. Ugh. Nothing about that sounds like fun. Why can't your kids get paper routes??
I think we all do. Hate uncertainty, that is. Except some weirdos who get high on it.
Ahhh bummer! That totally sucks! I hope it all works out!
Keep your head up :)
Congrats on being the featured Blogger today!
A fellow SITSista!
Oh man, I totally hear you! My planned out (near perfect) little life just got thrown in the toilet...and now...well, now, my plans have NOTHING to do with the overall plan. WTH?!
Congratulations on being today's FB! Well worth the read! I will be back for more!
That totally sucks, and though I've never before heard the metaphor . . . but yes, like a fart in a frying pan.
I hate change and I hate when things go against the "plan" that I have in my head constantly. I hope it all works out!
Congrats on being blogger of the day!
I hate change and I hate when things go against the "plan" that I have in my head constantly. I hope it all works out!
Congrats on being blogger of the day!
Hard working momma
Gosh,
I totally agree with what everyone is saying. The economy is so in the toilet. I wonder is these presidential candidates can really make a difference. I hope so because it only looks like it will get worse.
Congrats on your SITS day! That post was a little cloudy for me, but I got the gist of it. I'm sorry things are so up in the air in your home and uncertain. Life is crazy like that. :o)
Oh, I know how you feel. After reading A New Earth (Eckhart Tolle)...I look at uncertainty as a gift. Who knows what around the corner??? It's kind of fun, actually. Remember there is nothing you can't handle!
Congrats on being featured today! Stop by and visit sometime.
Hope the clouds will begin to clear soon for you! Sending some SITSta love your way!
I totally agree with the whole bartering thing. Anybody want to trade some babysitting for a batch of my killer peanutbutter cup cookies?
Best wishes on everything working out for ya.
Congrats on your special day ;)
Oh my. I hate being in this place myself. Hurry up and wait is what I call it. In other words, you sit and wait. My husband lost his job after an 11 year career with the USAF. He and 40,000 other military personelle lost their jobs last year d/t cuts in order to update the fleet. It was such a shock as he had a great career with tons of awards and recognition. It wasn't a change we wanted at the time but hind sight is beautiful now. I know it will be much the same for you. Stay strong in who you are and what you want. All will work out in the end. Sorry if it sounds cliche!
I left my job 8 months ago to SAH with our toddler. Because of the root of all evil($), I now watch a little boy for a mommy who went back to work part-time, at home. She has been putting in 60 hour weeks. Not what she signed up for! Or me for that matter.
Hang in there!
I am a stay at home Mom and this is what drives me crazy about summer. I hate losing my schedule, it drives me insane. You are great I have added you to my blogroll.
I have SSOOOO been in the laid-off, what the hell do I do now-place in life! It sucks. Good luck with this new road.
Happy SITS day! Sorry to hear things have been disrupted for you. I totally get why it's so irritating. I think it's good to vent all of the frustration, to get the emotions out so you can then get down to the job with less resentment. In theory anyway!
Hey girl congrats on being the SITS girl of the day!
Same boat here. Can't wait for school to start. I can get back to some kind of schedule.
I so know your pain. Is it wrong that I'd be SO ok with being laid off (my company's gone through several waves) even though I work three days a week, two of them from home? I stay only because I can't justify turning down the pay.
Out of curiosity, what industry are you in that a client needs you in that way? Are you in consulting?
Here's hoping that your short term assignment stays short term! Good luck!
It's always something, isn't it? Who knows what all the changes will bring?? Hopefully, wonderful things! Congrats on being the SAUCY SITSa today :-)
Hang in there SITsta. If it helps at all, LOTS of us are in change/crisis mode from this economy. Scary, but at least we're all in the same boat.
Today's economy is making things very hard. I'm a single mom living on a teacher's salary and it is so tight. I seriously need another income, but I haven't found anything that I can do and still be there for my kids. I keep looking, though at times I run out of places to look.
But anyway, not about me. I'm sorry for the uncertainty you're feeling right now. That's the sort of situation I try to just "bathe in prayer," trusting that God will help me find the right decision for my family and myself.
I hope things become clear for you soon.
What a tough spot to be in...I hear you on the predictability thing...I actually feel anxious when I deviate from the schedule. Only thing I can think of is to make a new schedule! Children adjust and they will learn that life can be okay even when it is unpredictable! happy SITS day!
Things can change in the clink of an eye... Bartles & James whittling wood.. hahahahha.
I am so sorry that you are in this spot. If you have a gut feeling... go with it.
it's amazing how often someone else's lack of planning translates into an emergency that we need to address.
May I ask what you do that you "save" these people? Just curious.
Also, I had no idea the economy was so bad. I guess I live in a little bubble. Things are so booming here that we can't find people to fill all the jobs that are coming up. I do worry, though, because it can't be "all good" forever. The bottom eventually caves, right?
Yikes to you, and good luck!
Post a Comment