Fast money is always alluring.
During college I was more susceptible to that sort of thing seeing that I didn't have children yet or a steady income. After months of watching women come and go, the abuse, the drugs, the violence I had enough.
But not before Ms. Borzhay taught me a few lessons:
- Get a tan- brown fat is prettier than white fat
- Why do something yourself if you can just pay someone else to do it for you
- Drink lots of water it makes you look younger
- Money might not buy happiness, but it pays for shopping trips which in turn make you happy
- If you want to keep a man, you better learn to give a good bj
- Strip for the one you love not for the money
Okay, so I totally lie. Ms. Borzhay didn't teach me that my mother did. Okay, okay. Enough lying.
Truth is...the pole is there for support. It was intended to be there. My husband cried when he found out it was larger than 1" because he had visions of alluring parties. I thought I would hate the pole. But, I think it adds character.
63 comments:
I bet he was disapointed but it still looks small enough to get some entertainment out of. :)
Hmm, its still better than a big wooden beam, what fun would that be. None. Fun AND support, not bad.
Dear Kandace:
It is me, Mz. Borzhay. I am pleased you learned your lessons so well. You forgot to mention one more tidbit, while drinking water may keep you looking younger it is also important to keep yourself fully hydrated ... inside and out.
Glad I had an impact on your life. Remember the night of your pole dancing graduation party? That was some evening, many of your original clients are still asking if you are coming back.
Thanks for the sweet, sweet ride down memory lane.
Don't forget our class motto:
Riding the pole like it's a rod
Will guarantee a smokin' hot bod!
You forgot rule #1:
Life is too short to drink cheap wine.
JW - Entertainment of the male stripping variety maybe.
Mom23Monkeys - Those were Bob's selling points exactly.
Carrie - How could I forget that motto?
Tali - Wine. OMG The Wine. Indeed but it all gets me drunk cheap or not.
And now I want a pole...
ps I can't believe we have such similar blog stories. You just opened up your blog 2 weeks ago!?! And look at you now you little comment whore. We are SOOOO in the same boat. I love it.
If you want to keep a man, you better learn to give a good bj
Yep! I've perfected that one ... or at least I've been told ...
Kathy - Everyone should have a pole like that in their living room. And, yes, just recently starting selling myself for comments. It's going well I'd say.
Dana - That is the most important piece of advice I've ever received!
I'm very proud to admit that I took a pole dancing class and loved it. My husband loves that I took it too.
I totally thought you were going to tell us you teach pole dancing/stripping classes for extra cash. :)
I didn't know your house needed moral support. I'm sorry to hear that.
-Chris
Weather Moose
You know, Mom23Monkeys is right. If it was enclosed like it's probably intened, it would look nice but what FUN is that?! I say rock it, woman! And if I ever make it to your house, remind me never to lean against the pole...LOL
I want a pole! I'm so jealous.
Heather, I wish I took pole dancing classes - I would be proud too!
Sizzle, I could teach people how to shine the pole. But I am not sure that is what the People are looking to learn.
Chris, BWAHAHAAHA! Moral Support! AWE.SOME!
Candy, Whatever you do, do not lean on the pole! You could catch something.
Outnumbered, Everyone should have a pole!
I'm crying laughing at the 1st lesson...brown fat is better!
And OMG my hubby would be so jealous about your pole.
when I first saw the pole, I figured you had your garage remodeled to part of your house (have seen this numerous times) just kidding you about the striper pole! But funny stuff!!!!
Well now that we've got the pole issue outta the way ... when's the first lesson?!
I wrote the book on BJs.
I want a pole too! Not just for the fun of it, but so that I can shock people that come into our home with my pole dancing skills
I like #1 too - brown fat is prettier - LOLOLOLOL!!! And look at that little monkey climb that pole! wow!
Ok, I must know more about the origins of this pole.
I don't believe it is just for support. I think that is just your cover story.
Too funny! I love the lessons learned though...and my mom really did teach ME these things. I always thought she was a few crayons short of a full box!
I suppose now you ought to tell us your stripper name, dontcha think? (Going by the "first pet's name + street you grew up on" rule, I'd be Sassy Glenside. Woo!)
Cheers and congrats on your SITS day! I'll be back to read more of your blog later, but at the moment I have a scintillating field trip to a dairy barn to chaperone. Yee-ha!
Your mom is one smart cookie. And she passed on very practical advice to you! I would definitely have to agree-brown fat is way prettier then white, pasty fat!
Awesome. A built in pole! Now really, how many times have you (or someone else in the household) run smack into it? And how many times have your kids yelled out in public, "we have a pole in the living room!"
Sure, the pole is there for support. Sure it is!
And I'm the spitting image of Heidi Klum. Except for that general region between my hair and my toes.
OMG Too funny! I want a poll! Of course we live with my inlaws, and having a poll in the middle of the house might encourage very uncomfortable conversations.
I'm just glad my husband is in another room. He would want the pole.
Very funny!
I thought Pole-ish jokes weren't considered PC these days!
that. is. AWESOME! How funny. Happy SITSday!
I bet that pole is a great conversation piece at parties. And, I don't care what anyone says, you know there are those that are going to try it out, no matter what. :o)
You can get a good party trick out of that...
Being the good girl that I am I *TOTALLY* did not 'get' this post til I read the comments....then had to go back and re-read the post....
Thanks for the education this morning! :) Some things you just can't learn in church..... ;)
And the REAL lesson from rule #5 is... the better you are at giving bj's the harder it is to get rid of guys when you are tired of them.
And they KEEP coming back.
And back.
And back.
And how does a sweet adorble wife, mama and gigi know this? Umm stories, I hear stories. Yeah, that's it.
I still remember the look of horror on the nuns faces when us girls would take turns spining around on the poles in the cafeteria. Ah to shock a nun at the tender age of 12...
Jacki
SITS siter
So THIS is the pole everyone has been talking about! Ha ha...*note to self: do not show hubby...
And cellulite DOES look better with a tan. :)
I'm all over the wine too! :)
I need to hide this post from my husband.
Curious...have you really used the pole (other than for the support)?
Did you have to shuttle the kids to grannys? :)
Hmm, the pole is there for support? Support as in supporting you in retaining moves from the old days to entertain hubby? Maybe to get one of those shopping trips?
You work it girl!
Oh and on a side note get that boy in Gymnastics. Much more dignified then the circus....LOL JK
Happy SITS Day!
I think my favorite is the idea that your mom gave you those hints. I can only imagine the conversations and entertainment you'd have with a mom like that!
any update on how the pole's been workin' for YOU lately?
Is that a disco ball I see next to the pole?
My college roommate and I lived by the mantra "If you can't lose it, tan it" Good to see others felt the same way.
Your mum is a wise woman :-)
Nice pole, my kids would have a blast climbing it and possibly sticking unmentionable things on the ceiling. Nice blog too. Congrats on the feature, SITSta.
Don't even tell my husband that there is a house with a pole in the living room --- he would totally install one here or offer to buy your house. You could totally make money by teaching pole dancing classes!!!!
Character uh? Well then I guess I could learn a thing or two. LOL
Jessica
MomDot Street Team
Off to drink more water! How many gallons will it take to make me look 29 again?
I hear pole dancing is great exercise. If I knew where to take classes, I would.
Congrats on being a Saucy Blog.
Did Just Juli just say "if you can't lose it, tan it." ? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Your posts are so funny that they make other people funny.
That pole makes me happy.
Your MOM told you the BJ thing?? Sheesh after a few years I realized mine was wrong, and that the way to his heart is NOT through his stomach..it's slightly lower...
Too funny---I'm actually laughing out loud, which means more when you write it out instead of abbreviating it. Congrats on your feature!
I would love to be able to pole dance and so would be learning if that was in my front room.
Too funny!
that is freakin funny....actually lol'd. i agree brown fat looks better, and bj's are probably a great way to keep your man around!!! hahaha
Its good to keep hubby guessing!
I need a pole.
And my husband needs a bj...know where he can find one??
Enough wine and chocolate it doesn't matter how big the pole is.
Jen
lol! i want a pole, and lessons, did i hear something about lessons? oh, and i have an awesome stripper name: shadow firestar (not making this up, i followed the rules! :) )
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