Friday, June 6, 2008

Help! I have a Teenager

So, if you ever wondered what raising teens is like you really need to go check out Insane Mama over at Help, I Have a Teenager. She is honest, you've been warned.

My problems are not so much about my kids since they are not yet teens but I do, however, have a teenage dog. Her name is Koko. She is the cutest little Toy Fox Terrier you ever did meet.

One problem.

Suddenly, she is a teenager.

I know you are all thinking that a teenage dog can't be that bad and it isn't that bad. It's just. Well, she has this problem.

(You know, I look in the mirror some days I wonder how on earth there isn't a 13-year-old boy staring right back at me.)

What was I saying? Oh, yes her problem. Koko is horny. I am not just talking that she all I'm just going to break me off a piece of that sum'n sum'n. No. I am talking all day long she dreams about sex.

How do I know?

Because she is constantly doing this (WARNING: EXPLICIT):

video

I am not even kidding.

Did you hear her?

She was all SAY! MY! NAME!

No small stuffed animals are safe. Quick! Hide the children.

(Please note this video totally counts for my Friday Foto Finish Fiesta ...Doggie Porn totally qualifies for a fun video. So, if you haven't already go pick your favorite foto and get over to Candid Carrie so she knows you played along!)

36 comments:

Mama's Losin' It said...

That. Is. Hilarious! Seriously hide the children...or neuter the dog for crying out loud.

Kandace said...

It's a girl!

Mrs. Romero said...

Say my name! OH MY STAR I am laughing so hard.

Chris said...

My own retard has started doing this herself. Cept she has this fetish for throw pillows. I'm sure there's probably a website somewhere just for her. Freaky internets.

-Chris
Weather Moose

JWilson said...

Holly crap that is funny!! The ladies that I work with were just talking about femail dogs humping things, I didn't know they did that.

Defintly hide the kids.

Amy said...

I have one of those too. My tiny sex machine also hikes her leg to pee. She's 5lbs soaking wet. I think a spike collar would fit her well.

Jane @ Kidzarama said...

You just brought back memories from my teen years (not that long ago, but still).

My best friend Megan had a little dog who used to do that all the time.

I spent each visit with my legs firmly tucked under the lounge or under my bum at the dinner table.

Candy said...

Just that fact that you caught it on video had me laughing. Then I watched the video and I almost peed myself. She needs some relief. Maybe she should go over to Carrie's and count the money!!

Carrie said...

Say MY name, bitch!

And then this one time at band camp when we were counting money ...

Carrie said...

This is so freakin' funny! I have expected to see a scantily clad dalmation dancing on the pole! Thanks for playing!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

oh, girl you are brave to post this!!! funny ass stuff!

Scout's Honor said...

Ha! My old doggie girl (now 14 and much more dignified) used to do that for the first 3-4 years. Damn, she had claws that could wrap around the back of you calf before you realized what she was up to... We had all sorts of people tell us it was a dominance (not a thumping rabbit) sort of thing. I almost believed them until she...errr... finished...on my husbands boot one day.

Seriously! Doggie orgasm. From that point on, she wasn't allowed anywhere near my legs.

She still used CG as her bitch though. Funny how we think dogs don't do that, but if they've got the parts, they can figure out how to use them as good as any old teenager.

insane mama said...

Oh Geez!
Hide the pillows, stuffed animals, small children and all!
I have an elderly dog... and she rubs her but on stuff all the time... maybe I should video it
Doggy Bloggy Butt Porn
Thanks for the mention of my insane life with those teens

Talisman said...

Time to get a battery operated "pal"? *snicker*

Honestly, is that dog fixed? Go fix her, geesh. :P

insane mama said...

Wait, the dog is a girl??? Thats even better
I have a gay rabbit, that humps my dog in the eye, maybe I should film that...
Thanks for making me pee.. I mean laugh

Scout's Honor said...

Errr...I don't know about Kandace's dog, but my female pup was fixed, which seemed to increase the urges if anything.

Hehehe. Probably like any woman, if there wasn't any biological needs to be met/babies to be made, she figured out there was other fun to be had and she took on a do-it-yourself attitude. She took to humping other girl dogs and people legs on Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley (We were still in college then).

Very embarassing, but appropriate to one of the birth places of free love, eh?

Sarah Jewel said...

WOW. hahaha I so needed this this morning!
(followed you here from Candid Carrie's Foto Fiesta)

Mrs. R said...

I had to change my blog address, so please change my link on your blogroll to:

Mrs. R
http://therfamilydiaries.blogspot.com

Got to get my last name off of it.

Thank you.

Jessica said...

OH MY LORD!! THAT WAS HIGHLARIOUS!!! I always wondered when someone would catch a dog doing that. LMFAO!!!

Mom to 3 Monkeys said...

LOL! Well, I guess she's determined to get it no matter who's looking. I had no idea female dogs did that. Thanks for the 'lesson'.

Angie said...

I am snorting right now! And my 4 year old wants to know what's so funny...

Pauline said...

too funny-and very true. my dog humps anything that moves. like the wind.

leezee52 said...

OMG...I didn't have animals as a kid so I have to learn about these things not on the street but from my bog pals...LOL. Great video!!!!

Amy said...

I have a Pomeranian like that. We call his toys his "bitches." It's like constant dog porn around here. Men come over and get jealous.

Lindsay said...

That is totally freaking HILARIOUS! I felt like shouting "get a room!" My friend has a male maltese, and I remember the first time we caught him assaulting his stuffed animal. Let's just say there are some things eyes where NEVER meant to see. EVER.

Mama's Losin' It said...

ps what's a feed??

Mama's Losin' It said...

ps. Ahem. Excuse me...it's a girl??? The humping dog is a girl?? What the freak!?!

jen721 said...

Doggie porn is always great to watch/throw a newspaper at.....

Lauren said...

Too funny!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for popping by today.

TentCamper said...

At least Koko knows what she wants and is willing to just go out and get it. More than I can say for many of us...I don't know if I'd ....just flat out hump anything like that...and I do have a HAWOTTTTTTT!!!! girlfiend.

Thanks for the comment

Lex the mom said...

Little dogs must have special pheromones or something - so many little ones do that. Speaking of teenage boys, my brother used to make our dog do that for the amusement of his friends (he was 14 at the time). I'd walk in & they'd all be cracking up. Too funny!

my2boyz said...

LMFAO!! Oh dear what does one do with a horny dog? Set up a "meeting" at the local doggie brothel? Thanks for stoping by my blog gotta love SITS!

Mama's Losin' It said...

ok my url is officially changed!! and yes I'm in love. ;)

~Billie~ said...

OMG! I am dying laughing! Why is it the girly dogs always end up as stuffed animal whores? LOL!!

Anonymous said...

Good is good, but better carries it.


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