Psst, hey you, come here.
Yes, you! I have something I need to tell you.
Come closer, that’s it, I have a confession.
I cannot keep a secret. Well, that’s not true – I cannot keep a secret from my husband – I just cannot do it, no matter how hard I try, I cannot deceive him.
I don’t know when this started because when we were first married, I could, but as the years have worn on, I find that no matter how little or how big the secret I have to tell him. It is like a force that is bigger than me that propels me to tell him things that I know that he does not and this force is much stronger than my willpower [not sayin’ much, but still].
Let’s take for example, Christmas, it’s supposed to be a time when you surprise each other with super secret stuff – and let me tell you, last year, I thought I was going to nail it, boy, I had the best thing he never even knew he wanted – a camera.
Now, in all honesty, I judged nailing it in terms that it was something I wanted once he tossed it aside with the other stuff he renders useless. My husband, he’s the typical man, hard to shop for plus he’s got a terrible habit of shopping for himself around the holidays which really means you don’t have a shot in hell of actually finding something he a) doesn’t already have or b) wants.
But, being the clever wife that I am, I realized on Halloween that his point and shoot camera was archaic and drove him nuts because between the time that he pushed the button and the actual picture taking was approximately 7.8minutes seconds and, as anyone with kids knows, that means the kids were up from the photo op, out the door and almost ready for college.
Now, being the high tech redneck techno geek that my husband is, when I bought my DSLR last year he laughed, and laughed, because how in the world was I going to lug that beast of camera in my pocket to anywhere. He had a point – after all, it wasn’t my camera that was nicely tucked into my glove box that Halloween was it?
After searching the ads and looking at all the cameras in the stores I had found the best camera for the best price that fit allmy his needs. It’s funny when you take a high tech redneck techno geek into one of those mega electronic stores their eyes glaze over and anything you say or do in that store goes in one ear and out the other so me meandering through all the cameras went totally unnoticed in 4 different stores – I am not sure he knew
I was even in the store with him.
The only thing left was to actually purchase it – success would surely be mine, I could taste it, I could smell it – this was going to be my year. Not to mention I was totally proud of myself for finding something that he did not know he needed. Maybe, too proud.
While driving home from purchasing the gift I stopped at Costco and while there, I thought I should make sure I got the best deal and to my surprise I had purchased the camera less than even Costco was offering and at that point I could not contain my pride – I was beaming. Not only had I found the most difficult person to shop for (besides my father) the perfect gift, I found it for several dollars less than Costco, I needed to get a grip.
I continued my shopping with a stupid smile through Costco unable to contain myself. Suddenly, while concluding my trip down the diaper aisle, my husband calls. And if you didn’t already know that shopping with a cell phone and child is dangerous which makes shopping with child and cell phone at Costco during the holidays insane and makes me really distracted.
Suddenly, as if I was listening from above, I hear myself tell him.
“…and you know what else? Costco has your camera for $20 more than I paid. Can you believe it?”
No sooner had the words left my mouth had I prayed we had been disconnected.
Silence on the other line.
“Oh, no! I just told you. Damn it.” I hung up quickly wanting to cry, I couldn’t even keep the secret for 2 hours, I wanted to die.
I guess I am confessing this because this weekend I was accused of telling secrets, but, wanted to clarify that I don’t tell everyone secrets – it’s just my husband I have trouble with.
So, a fair warning that if you tell me something it’s as good as telling my husband – because, let’s face it, if I can’t keep something as dumb as a camera a secret from my husband I surely can’t keep your juicy drama (or not so juicy every day life stuff you happen to tell me) from him either.
Yes, you! I have something I need to tell you.
Come closer, that’s it, I have a confession.
I cannot keep a secret. Well, that’s not true – I cannot keep a secret from my husband – I just cannot do it, no matter how hard I try, I cannot deceive him.
I don’t know when this started because when we were first married, I could, but as the years have worn on, I find that no matter how little or how big the secret I have to tell him. It is like a force that is bigger than me that propels me to tell him things that I know that he does not and this force is much stronger than my willpower [not sayin’ much, but still].
Let’s take for example, Christmas, it’s supposed to be a time when you surprise each other with super secret stuff – and let me tell you, last year, I thought I was going to nail it, boy, I had the best thing he never even knew he wanted – a camera.
Now, in all honesty, I judged nailing it in terms that it was something I wanted once he tossed it aside with the other stuff he renders useless. My husband, he’s the typical man, hard to shop for plus he’s got a terrible habit of shopping for himself around the holidays which really means you don’t have a shot in hell of actually finding something he a) doesn’t already have or b) wants.
But, being the clever wife that I am, I realized on Halloween that his point and shoot camera was archaic and drove him nuts because between the time that he pushed the button and the actual picture taking was approximately 7.8
Now, being the high tech redneck techno geek that my husband is, when I bought my DSLR last year he laughed, and laughed, because how in the world was I going to lug that beast of camera in my pocket to anywhere. He had a point – after all, it wasn’t my camera that was nicely tucked into my glove box that Halloween was it?
After searching the ads and looking at all the cameras in the stores I had found the best camera for the best price that fit all
I was even in the store with him.
The only thing left was to actually purchase it – success would surely be mine, I could taste it, I could smell it – this was going to be my year. Not to mention I was totally proud of myself for finding something that he did not know he needed. Maybe, too proud.
While driving home from purchasing the gift I stopped at Costco and while there, I thought I should make sure I got the best deal and to my surprise I had purchased the camera less than even Costco was offering and at that point I could not contain my pride – I was beaming. Not only had I found the most difficult person to shop for (besides my father) the perfect gift, I found it for several dollars less than Costco, I needed to get a grip.
I continued my shopping with a stupid smile through Costco unable to contain myself. Suddenly, while concluding my trip down the diaper aisle, my husband calls. And if you didn’t already know that shopping with a cell phone and child is dangerous which makes shopping with child and cell phone at Costco during the holidays insane and makes me really distracted.
Suddenly, as if I was listening from above, I hear myself tell him.
“…and you know what else? Costco has your camera for $20 more than I paid. Can you believe it?”
No sooner had the words left my mouth had I prayed we had been disconnected.
Silence on the other line.
“Oh, no! I just told you. Damn it.” I hung up quickly wanting to cry, I couldn’t even keep the secret for 2 hours, I wanted to die.
I guess I am confessing this because this weekend I was accused of telling secrets, but, wanted to clarify that I don’t tell everyone secrets – it’s just my husband I have trouble with.
So, a fair warning that if you tell me something it’s as good as telling my husband – because, let’s face it, if I can’t keep something as dumb as a camera a secret from my husband I surely can’t keep your juicy drama (or not so juicy every day life stuff you happen to tell me) from him either.
6 comments:
You haven't heard the rule!! The rule that husbands don't count?! I have long ago concede, as has every married woman friend I know that a secret means from everyone EXCEPT my husband. Its a rule of thumb that we tell them everything. Unavoidably, without a doubt its going to happen. Its a rule. My rule, but I say that makes it everyones rule. Therefore I think you are an excellent secret keeper. :)
Same goes for me. You tell me, you might as well expect my husband to know about it!
LOL, Kandace, you're too funny... I had so much fun keeping our last trip a surprise from George--it was killing me not to tell him about it in all the days leading up to it, but the moment of the surprise itself was worth keeping my lips buttoned! I have a harder time keeping gifts a surprise though...even if I don't tell, the credit card statements and/or receipts that he is so annoyingly thorough about perusing usually give it away.
Anyway...just so you know, I did email the invite for the "challenge" blog and last I checked you still hadn't accepted the invite...we're starting today to post miles.
It's impossible to keep anything from my guy. But you know what? I'm glad. I am thrilled that I finally trust someone enough to spill each and every bean.
Count me in, too! I tell my husband everything and usually as soon as possible! I can't wait to get home from a girls' night to tell him all the new gossip, which he quietly soaks in and then forgets about until I remind him days later when he tells me said gossip, like it's something new! And all my friends do the same thing, too!
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