Under Fire

Recently, and by recently that means, oh, in the last five years or so, my bachelor father had a state of the art security system installed at his home. Ever since I can remember my parents always had an alarm system and one thing we could never figure out how to do was turn the damn thing off. No matter which system it was, it never failed, the authorities would be called and then the trauma of explaining ourselves ensued.

A few weeks back my children were ill and I had to take them to the doctor and since Aspen's doctor is in the same town as my father's home, a trip to the doctor usually means dropping in on Grandpa unexpectedly, generally a phone call a few minutes - half an hour tops, warning.

This particular day Grandpa gives us the green light to kill a little time at his house after Aspen's appointment while waiting for Kyan's appointment. Upon arrival we find Grandpa in his bathroom getting all gussied up. Unbeknownst to us, G-pa had a lunch date, which meant that we only had a few moments with G-pa before he had to leave.

So, we quickly say our hellos and then G-pa proceeds, as he does every single time we come over, to show my kids his remote control for the alarm system because I don't know, kids like remotes? More like, kids like to lose remotes, better yet, kids like to use remotes. While showing the kids the remote my dad accidentally arms the system, and let me tell you just arming the thing was an experience, a nice lady comes over the PA and states, "The system is armed,"as if the loud chirping didn't already indicate that but I suppose if you can't hear those chirps the nice lady clears up any confusion there may be. It was such an ordeal that I thought for a minute the entire house was going on lock down and there would be no way out.

Dad leaves, the kids and I start to go stir crazy because taking my kids to G-pa's house is like taking a Bull into a China Hutch - I was there for fifteen minutes and completely worn out from making sure they weren't breaking anything. One thing G-pa count on when we come visit is for his kitchen to look like a tornado hit it - this trip was no different. So, pretty quickly after seeing G-pa off I decide I need to find someplace else to kill some time, I gather our things and head out the door.

The alarms starts blaring. I, of course, panic, search for the remote, let both kids down so I can think, as if that was going to help what with the nice lady now telling me that alarm has been activated and to disarm immediately, yes, lady if I knew where the freaking remote was I would deactivate the freaking alarm. No remote, call Dad.

"Um, hi, Dad," I said.

"Honey, what is all that noise," he started before I could tell him.

"I set off the alarm, I think you left it armed when you left and I think you may have taken the remote with you."

"No, the remote is at the house and I disarmed it before I left." He refutes.

"Well, what should I do? Do you know your code?" I beg.

At this point G-pa is clearly as shook up about this as I am, and who wouldn't be? Mass chaos is going down at his house and he is now put on the spot to remember his code, a code he, I am sure made up a really long time ago not at all under pressure and is probably really quite clever, but under the circumstances is not coming to him. He hangs up the phone.

"What is the password?" The PA suddenly speaks in a male tone. Not at all the same nice lady from earlier. At this point it sounds like this voice is God because I have no idea where the voice or PA actually is. I shutter.

"What is the password?" The PA speaks again.

I am scared and don't respond, again. Although this voice can here me, and tells me that he can't make out what I said, which 100% freaks me out. Now I'm considering hoping in my car and fleeing the scene because someone is now watching me.

Instead I call Dad, again.

"The voice, it keeps asking for a password. Dad, what is the password?" I plead.

"Well answer it and tell him who you are." He refutes.

I don't know, that would have been logical I suppose, but with the alarm blaring, the now not nice lady telling me I need to disarm, my children running amuck, and some guy asking for some password I wasn't privy to, logic wasn't exactly something I had a grasp on at the moment. I did the only thing I could think of - ignore the guy asking for the password.

Grace, under fire.

Shortly after hanging up with my Dad the alarm stopped. The alarm company had reached my Dad and he remembered his password, my number from my last National Horse Show, a number I should know but don't.

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Post Script

On a more recent trip to G-pa's, I was explaining to my sister the events that occurred that afternoon, because much like me she had no idea Dad had a state of the art home protection contraption. And while explaining where the voice of God was coming from that day suddenly the lady started speaking, "System Armed."

No joke and I couldn't stop laughing because I thought Dad was teasing me because I was sort of teasing him for having such a contraption.

But then Dad came out of his room which is right above the PA, and was all, who is messing with the alarm, which then scared the jeebus out of us because if it wasn't Dad then it must be someone from the alarm company watching us. But, they weren't.

A funny thing happens when you show a toddler a remote, they are inclined to use it, which is probably the exact same scenario that happened on my previous visit, although clearly that time? I was Grace, under fire.