Mr. Sandman

I loathe sand with every fiber of my being.

You can only imagine the excitement that stirs in my belly when anyone mentions the word beach and vacation in the same sentence.

A beach vacation has a nice ring to it, yes, but mind quickly wonders to the thoughts of sand. Sand everywhere, in my hair, in my kids ears, butts, noses, mouths, food, in fact, as we speak my dearest Aspen still has sand in her hair and on her bottom. Poor girl, everytime I go to wipe, I cringe at the thought of having sandpaper rubbed on my own bottom and, honestly, I will probably still be finding sand on her bottom in October.

It could be concluded that I like to bitch and that would be accurate especially surrounding all things that involve sand, particularly all things involving sand at a beach in Washington State. For those of you who do not live here, visiting a beach in Washington State is like visiting McDonald's without the Happy Meals. Let me break it down for you mathematically, ocean plus sand plus buckets should equal fun but instead it usually equals loads of rain followed by more rain with heavy winds.

The excitement around my house or I should say my attitude surrounding our upcoming trip to the ocean hit a low somewhere between last Tuesday and Wednesday when not only did it look like we were doomed for rainrainandmorerain it looked as though my entertainment was ducking out of the trip as well.

It seems no matter what it is a parent dislikes their children seem to flock to it, as if it is the only thing on earth that truely matters. To point out the obvious the beach is, like, the biggest sand box EVER and what isn't great about that? Judging from my daughters mild reaction from the sandpaper wipe, nothing!

By thursday afternoon I was suddenly overwhelmed with excitement, even the thought of packing half of the house into the back of the truck sounded fantastic and eating out for every meal in the next three days sounded decident. Clearly, I had lost my friggin mind.

Thankfully, my attitude found its way out of the gutter and into vacation mode because to our surprise, as well as the forecasters, we had wonderful weather. So wonderful in fact, the wind wasn't even blowing enough for kite flying, which totally bummed MR. VACATION, himself, out. Bob takes his kite flying very seriously but we all managed.

Here are just a few of the hundreds of photos I took, I haven't even had time to look at them all.

100 Things About Me

1. I am 28 years old.
2. I'm a Libra.
3. I always feel guilty about something even when something is out of my control.
4. I feel guilty when others are overweight even though I am not in any way responsible and on the same note I feel guilty when I see old men alone.
5. I hold a special place in my heart for all old men I see alone.
6. My mother died when I was 22 years old, 6 months before my college graduation.
7. My grandfather, her father, died 6 weeks later.
8. I am a better person today for having a mother who was ill while growing up.
9. She was my best friend.
10. I am lucky to have a wonderful MIL who I care about deeply.
11. I didn't know how lucky I was until I had children of my own and realized she was just a mother who wanted the best for her children, just like me.
12. I hated my name growing up but as an adult I really like it.
13. I fear my children will hate their names as well.
14. I believe in predestiny, that I am here for a reason and when I am finished with my task I will no longer take up room here on Earth.
15. I loathe organized Religion, in concept it seems wonderful but in reality people scare the hell out of me.
16. I have suffered with Asthma all my life.
17. I am an ex-smoker.
18. I won my first national championship when I was 6 years old.
19. I was High point Youth at the National Show 3 years in a row.
20. I dislike horses in general but always loved mine.
21. I never took PE in high school because riding my horses made me exempt.
22. I never really fit in anywhere when I was in high school.
23. I had my first sip of alcohol with my best friend Sara when we were in 9th grade.
24. During that little drunk fest, where she consummed way too much alcohol, I thought it would help her if I put her in the shower while she was passed out. Turns out if you're drunk a shower doesn't help rid the effects. She still had the hiccups when we dropped her off the next morning.
25. I got married when I was 23.
26. My husband, bless his heart, is a romantic even though I usually laugh and ask him what he is doing.
27. Growing up I always thought I would be a SAHM.
28. Now the notion of being a SAHM seems silly because I don't think they allow small children to be reared in mental institutions.
29. I don't think going to a doctor is a sign of weakness, rather it shows responsibility.
30. I think being a SAHM is tougher than going to work outside the home.
31. I have respect for any SAHM.
32. My children are 22 months apart which happens to be the exact same number of months that separate my own brother and I.
33. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.
34. My sister is 12 years older, brother is 14 years older and my other brother is 22 months older.
35. That makes me the baby.
36. Yes, all the same parents. Crazy, right?
37. I always wanted 4 or 6 children when I was growing up.
38. If money were no object I would have all those children.
39. I have a BS in Mathematics.
40. I never paid any attention in English class.
41. Now that I'm older I wish I took even one English class in college.
42. I have terrible grammer and sentence structure.
43. I couldn't read until I was in third grade.
44. I love to read but haven't picked up a book since Kyan was born almost three years ago.
45. I have been nursing for almost 3 years straight.
46. I love co-sleeping.
47. We need a bigger bed.
48. Unfortunately they don't make beds bigger than King, if they did we'd own it.
49. I could use a full nights sleep.
50. I love the Dave Matthews Band.
51. I loathe social situations where I don't know anyone.
52. I don't have many friends.
53. I think the number of true friends you have in your life you should be able to count on one hand.
54. I still think I will be married forever.
55. When I was in college I drank alcohol every single night for an entire semester just to see if I could do it.
56. I haven't really liked to drink since.
57. Now that I have kids drinking all together has lost its appeal.
58. I used to work for Target.
59. If it weren't for the grueling hours I would still work there.
60. I didn't really appreciate the value of Target until I had kids.
61. Now that I don't work there all I want to do is find a place for everything they carry.
62. I just discovered photography.
63. Again I wish I would have taken a photography class in school.
64. I never realized what a dork I was until I met my husband.
65. I now embrace my inner geek with fervor.
66. My husband and I met on an internet chat room.
67. My first roommate in college discovered she was a lesbian our first week.
68. I overheard way more lesbian sex in one week than anyone should hear in a lifetime.
69. I got a new roommate the next week.
70. A few months later I overheard way too much heterosexual sex than anyone should ever overhear.
71. It was then I decided I would never again have a roommate I was not having sex with.
72. I can't see very well yet I refuse to get glasses.
73. I find comfort in food.
74. When I was in 4th grade I ice skated every morning at 6 am.
75. In 5th grade I had to decide between ice skating and horses to everyone's surprise I chose horses.
76. I am a problem solver. If you have a problem even if I know nothing about it I will try to help and I usually succeed. (And for some reason this one make's me want to sing Ice Ice Baby)
77. I love a challenge especially one where the odds are stacked against me.
78. I love to compete but mostly with myself.
79. I hate it when people don't follow their word.
80. I have always been self conscience.
81. I have no fashion sense.
82. I think every work place should be jeans and a t-shirt attire because I work better that way.
83. One of my favorite memories growing up was my father taking me to the race track at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings. The horses scared the jeebees out of me but spending time with him was worth it.
84. I have never kept a journal in my life until I started this blog.
85. I would buy journals, oogle them but could never find anything worth writing about.
86. I love crafts.
87. I have grand craft ideas but never finish them.
88. I could spend hours in the stamp store but when it comes time to creating I fall short.
89. I love to shop for anything.
90. I hate bargain stores like Ross, I don't have the patience or the fashion sense.
91. I cook dinner at least 5 nights a week.
92. I think family dinners are important since as a child my family ate dinner every night together.
93. I once stole a book on accident. I had both kids with me and placed the book in the stroller top and didn't find it until I got home. I never went back.
94. I cut my leg with an exacto knife by accident trying to cut the drawstring of Yuka's sweatpants after sneeking out of her house in 7 th grade. It's one of the only scars I have.
95. I love home improvement projects especially the kind that don't require my help.
96. I sometimes wish I was pregnant so I could use it as an excuse to take a nap.
97. Some of the best advice I have ever received was from my father.
98. I usually don't follow it.
99. It's my way of rebeling.
100. Eat. Drink. And be merry for tomorrow we die!

Rainy Day

Instead of complaining about my current working conditions I'll leave you with some photos from this past weekend (sorry they are small I uploaded wrong!)

Saturday morning I loaded up the kids and headed for unsuspecting Grandpa. Of course, he had other things planned but he graciously cleared his schedule for an outing with the kids. It was supposed to rain so I had planned on going to the Children's Museum, a place Kyan would spend hour after hour if I let him.

Kyan led us around to explore all of the intricacies of our local museum and for the first time I had a blast. Kyan was able to show his sister everything, he loved it, she loved it and, of course Grandpa and I were worn out.

See, right here, baby!

Hurry up, baby!

Doesn't everyone take their shirt off at the museum?

Of course, she loves whatever he loves!

Glue!

Scissors! All the fun stuff here!

First Day Down...

Several more to come.

Today was our official move to the on-site office that I have been dreading for some time. Our move was bumped up then down then we weren't going and now we have moved.

It should be noted that I loathe moving, especially moving of the temporary sort because I need everything and the only difference between temporary and permanent is the time frame everything else remains the same and it should also be noted somehow when people hear the word temporary they think easy and let me tell you it is far from it.

Let's start from the beginning. I had my clothes picked out just like you would on your first day of school because for me any first day is just like the first day of school and my clothes should be ready along with my Pentel Pens which I used to sleep with on the night before school -I loved them that much. Surprisingly, I had no trouble sleeping but that probably had more to do with moving furniture and running 20 minutes straight the day before than with the fact that I didn't have the jitters, oh I had them, I was just tired enough that they didn't keep me awake wondering what SuzyQ was going to wear on her first day.

I should have known to hit snooze and call in sick when Bob woke me up asking if it was mid-October because the rain was torrential outside but I went on with my morning totally unsuspecting of what the Universe had in store for me.

Kyan did his usual Monday meltdown that merely occurs because, well, its Monday and why on earth can't it still be Saturday and really I would throw the exact same fit if I thought it would do any good.

Interestingly, Kyan has started a new tactic at getting me to stay when we get to daycare in the mornings - he suddenly has to poop, which is genius really, and the one time I put my foot down and didn't take him he held it all day refusing to go until I got there. This new crisis is not helping my tardiness to work - someday soon I will figure out that I just need to get to daycare 20 minutes earlier and life would be grand, except I ALWAYS try to get there earlier I just fail at actually achieving my goal - next New Years Resolution, I promise.

I failed to mention earlier that I was soaked before leaving the driveway yet not a single red flag went off in my mind that, oh, maybe I should run inside and grab a raincoat, after all, I was scheduled to move office stuff for the rest of the day. Note to self have red flag signals checked in brain I think they may be malfunctioning.

While helping load all of our boxes I told my boss to run ahead and finish his errands and I would finish hooking up his computer so he could work from it remotely and somehow while un-installing his old anti-virus I got his computer stuck in an infinite loop and people if it was my fault I clearly didn't do it on purpose but nonetheless I still did it and feel like a pile of poo for even offering to help.

Then on our way in I nearly wet myself because I hadn't planned on over an hour drive and in the 2 hours proceeding our trip I consumed 64 ounces of water. I had to go so bad that I even searched my back seat for a diaper, there wasn't one in arm's reach but if there were one I would have used it. Luckily we drove by a gas station and I pulled over losing my boss but not messing my car and for that my boss could wait.

So to recap, it's 11 am I have had a meltdown with a 2 year old, I have been drenched by torrential rains, I crashed my bosses computer and I nearly wet myself in my car. Not a single one of these things on any normal day would have thrown me but combine them together and this is shaping up to be a day meant to be forgotten, yet I find myself writing it all down as if I won't believe it when recalling it years from now.

I'm not sure if I have ever told you this but I suffer from LBSCBD - Low Blood Sugar Cranky Butt Disorder. In fact, my entire family suffers from it and if you happen to catch my father during a LBSCBD rage, RUN, don't ask questions just run trust me it will save your life. As far as I know, each member of my family thinks they have it under control. I often tell myself no one else knows how hungry I am but in reality if it is 12:30 and my boss notices I haven't headed for my lunch he reminds me to eat because apparently he doesn't like me when I don't eat.

We arrived at our new office just after noon. I was starving wishing I had grabbed the grapes and diet coke from the fridge before we left the office only to find myself in the middle of the city with no food and a boss who wants the new office up and running as soon as possible. My disordered cranky butt was in full affect and around 1:30 my boss took notice and fed me, I thanked him profusely after gobbling up my soup & salad in 5 minutes flat what took the others 20 minutes or so to consume.

Lastly while putting one of the chairs together I striped the main screw and I swear to you I was only trying to help. When I finally brought this to my bosses attention he gave me the look, you know, the one that screams DO NOT TOUCH ANY THING ELSE. So in my frantic disheveled state when he said he was headed to Office Depot I made a list and sent him on his way, knowing full well that he is not capable of dealing with those people and knowing that I could order it and have to the new office before 5 pm the next day. So when he called 2 hours later (I finally had the office set up and waiting for the remainder of the supplies) I was not at all surprised when he said he just left Office Depot with nothing. Frantically I logged on the Office Depot and got our order in so it will be delivered tomorrow, but really that little red flag button in my brain is just not working, that little red flag could have saved me and my boss a whole lot of effort.

Please, I beg, some one help me fix my red flags.

Milestone

I have a potty mouth, or as Bob puts it, I could put a trucker to shame with all the explicative’s I strategically place in my communication to get my point across.

When Kyan was a baby I started to ‘watch my mouth’ which lead to me filling in freakin’ or ‘effing’ instead of the better, more appropriate four letter word and as far as I am concerned my communication skills have suffered ever since. I didn’t get serious about this new filter until just recently – after all I thought if Kyan wasn’t repeating what I said he wasn’t retaining it, right? Not exactly.

Back in April we had our first public incident, while he only used the term crap, I was deeply mortified and vowed I would be more careful. We all know how that goes, for a few weeks I was careful then I got lazy, my current mouth is still a big improvement on my pre-mama mouth, though.

Bob & I do our best to catch each other then we make the perpetrator repeat the offense to make sure the children heard correctly because we wouldn’t want them to repeat incorrectly. Oh, stop. We don’t really do it that often, oh, okay, not at all but we do try to point it out to the other and usually it comes so naturally we are surprised when the other calls us on it. “No, I did not just say that, I would never say that in front of the kids,” while the other knows exactly what they heard. I guess that would mean we are both guilty, but by far, me more than him.

You can only imagine how surprised I was the other night when Kyan was playing with his cars down the slide while Aspen & I were on the patio and I overheard him, “F.F.F. Go you Effing car go.” Kyan actually used the real words not the fluffy ones I have been trying to use in their place.

I was surprised at my reaction, he was far enough away that it took me a minute to figure out what he was saying, but when I figured it out I couldn’t stop laughing. Laughing is what I do when something totally inappropriate happens and I should be angry but I laugh. Once I collected myself I asked Kyan to come over to where Aspen and I were sitting and told him that word was inappropriate and he responded to me that he needed to use it. I thought for a minute, my son just told me he needed to use profanity, as if there was no other way to communicate to the car other than resorting to profanity and I thought to myself, he is my son. Again I was laughing although this time I was laughing on the inside and with a straight face I sent him inside to tell his father what he had just told me, once he was out of my sight, I burst into hysterical laughter fueled more by the fact that I knew that I just sent our 2 year old into my unsuspecting husband who, sadly or not so sadly, would also find humor in this, than by the fact that curse words were flying out of my son like bullets out of machine gun.

A few minutes later my 2 year old reappears, unscathed, not crying and headed back up to the play-set to continue playing with his cars.

“Did you tell Daddy?” I said as he ran past.

“Yep!” Kyan responded.

Curious, I proceeded to the office where Bob and one of our friends were trying to fix the computer, to see if Kyan said the offending statement. After appearing in the doorway I ask what Kyan said to them and they both laugh and for the first time ever Kyan repeated word for word what I had sent him to tell his father, I have never been so proud. Of course, Bob being the enforcer, quickly told Kyan if he ever heard him use that word again he would be in a time out and it seems that has settled it for now.

But seriously, I knew Kyan had the ability to tell Bob what I needed him to tell him I just can’t believe this would be the way we found out. Next time, maybe we’ll try for something a little less risqué and I’ll send him in to tell Daddy to get me a beer. (Oh, stop. We don’t even drink beer.)

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know

Ever since finding out that I was pregnant more than 3 years ago I felt like I have been bombarded by marketers who see me as their target audience for mass amounts of products that no mother needs much less would use on a regular basis.

In the beginning it was easy to fall prey to these evil marketers, “Oh yes, I need one in every color and it must be new and shiny. And since it’s for the baby it must not have been tainted by any one else’s baby.” I wish I could go back and tell that naïve me that everything I was reading was bull and that shiny and new meant nothing as soon as you used it once or twice, but, that ship has sailed.

A few years into motherhood I am jaded. I see ads for everything from wipe warmers to mesh feeders, things that are simply unnecessary but I have to assume that there is some mother out there who has benefited from one of these non-necessitating items but that she is definitely not me. In fact, our crib, which we luckily received as a hand-me-down, was only used a handful of times with both babies. My suspicions about all things baby really came to a head around Kyan’s first birthday when I was sorting through items we used and things we didn’t and I figured out that 99% of the items we were told were necessary were still in their boxes. The monitor to this day is still in its box, on the whole a great invention but one our household never found a use for. Or maybe those Baby Einstein DVD’s a wonderful idea if you have a child capable of paying attention that long until you read the hundreds of articles which explain how television before 2 will make your child morph into a monster.

Being jaded made for an interesting second pregnancy – I just told everyone we didn’t need anything because I knew that even if I did end up needing something I would be able to find it at a garage sale for a fraction of the price.

I knew all along that I would need a double stroller but I held off because shopping for one is very overwhelming with all the options, side-by-side, travel system, sit and stand and the list went on. I get overwhelmed trying to decide which gas station is cheaper and is it really cheaper if they charge you $.45 to use your debit card, the answer, by the way, is usually no, so shopping for something that requires so much decision making was something I always decided to wait on. To tide me over I decided to send Bob out and purchase one off Craig’s List for $40 because I could part with $40 even if we didn’t end up using the stroller that much for whatever reason and part of me really believed that Kyan would want to walk everywhere since his best friend T always chooses to walk if he has the option. I forgot that T is not Kyan and Kyan likes to ride.

On several occasions I have decided it was time, even going as far to pick the color of the stroller only to back out and decide that ultimately it would be a waste of money. It’s not that I have a hard time making child related purchases, I do own 4 strollers I just have a hard time parting with my money knowing that potentially I could have parted with half as much if only I would have researched a little more.

You can only imagine my dilemma when I came to the realization a few weeks ago we were in the market for a double jogging stroller. This was indeed new territory, I have never even as much as contemplated purchasing a jogging stroller, although I am the owner of 2 because who can pass up a $20 brand new stroller on clearance at Target, apparently not me.

The jogging stroller I use is the $20 one from Target, it’s okay but after 2 weeks use it started squeaking terribly and feels like it could fall apart at any given point in our wogging.

So I have some criteria for the new stroller, no squeaking, “It’s a start” I thought.

For weeks I have been researching and it seems as though I must be related to that dear husband of mine because I want the biggest bad ass stroller out there which happens to be on sale for $429 and also happens to be named BOB, not to worry people I would fall over and die carrying Kyan while running before I ever paid that much for a stroller, I’m thrifty like that.

I have found, however, a 2005 model with light use for less than half of the 2007 model price, and I am going to pick it up tonight as long as Kyan fits in it comfortably and that poor man is going to have to pull all that damn money out of my hands but it will be worth it, at least I hope so, oh damn, can someone hold me...please?

A few Photos

Bringing Sexy Back

“Kyan you need to get dressed for Katie’s birthday party,” I say for the 1,097th time.

Kyan proceeds to his clothes basket, picks out a shirt then he pauses, looks at the shirt and exclaims “I need my sexy shirt!” as he throws the one he has in his hand to the side.

I Don't Like to Share Things Like This but I am LIVID

I’m over it. I want to run to the toy room and throw away every toy we have that was made in China or anywhere besides the United States.

In the last 3 months there have been millions of recalled toys due to the use of lead paint until today my household had been unaffected but it appears that most of the toys in the recent recall are ones my children cherish and, uh, chew on. Most disturbing may be the fact that one of the recalled items is actually a car-seat thankfully it is not one we have in our home.

I read yesterday that the general manager of one of the factories involved in the major recall committed suicide, now I’m no expert but that leads me to believe he knew what was going on long before he was found out and quite frankly that makes this mama bear extremely pissy. Sadly lead poisoning has extreme repercussions and 100% preventable.

In case you were unaware of the most recent recall you can find it here.

Now please excuse me while I go sort through every toy and dispose of all potential hazards to my children.

Best Friends

Wog Forrest Wog

I've been a little hesitant to share this previously as I am afraid I may fail and then not only would I have to admit defeat to myself but I would have you, my readers, to tell about my failings and that has made me keep this little secret from you.

But when you, my readers, request I must comply, so in response to a comment left in my previous post, I will offer up my running expertise, albeit very little.

I do know that running as whole is very good exercise, I like to think of it as a catch-all kind of thing, one that boasts many benefits with not too much effort, however taking up running is one very intimidating task, one I’ve pined over and searched and finally found a program that may work – the jury is still out, but after finishing week 3 I feel confident that I can finish this program and complete the 5K run at Salmon Days in Issaquah this October.

Couch to 5K or C25K (scroll to the bottom of the link for the program) as I like to refer to it, starts off slow. The first week jogging 60 second intervals is all you do, even to the biggest couch potato that seems pretty doable then week by week you increase the amount of jogging you actually do until by week 5 you actually jog your first full 20 minutes. I know what all you non-runners or joggers are thinking, “60 seconds no problem,” well honestly I thought the same thing, until I was all, “oh my gosh, are the 60 seconds up yet, Ali?” and she would reply “we’re half way there.”

After completing week 3 I can tell you I can jog 3 minutes without feeling like my chest is going to explode, I know that isn’t much but people I was out of shape in a really bad way and I’m proud of those three minutes and after next week I will be able to tell you I can run 5 minutes straight without wanting to hurl my guts out and I will be really proud of that too. I also know that running is much a mental game as it is a physical challenge just getting your lungs ready to handle the air you are going to need on longer runs takes some time.

I was once a runner, I was 14 and decided one night that I would take to the road, it was about two months after my father had his second quadruple by-pass surgery and my mother was diagnosed with her debilitating Rheumatoid Arthritis, I needed an outlet that was positive with so much going on at home. What I remember about my brief stint as a runner so many moons ago is that I started off slowly just like the C25K and that eventually working at pace that feels right for you, you can get to running, it is possible.

If you are trying this program out and you don’t have a partner there are some pod-casts that talk you through each session so even if you don’t have a partner the little guy in your iPod can keep you company!

Now get out there and starting wogging!

*wog is a combo of walking and jogging

Confession Time

Over the past few weeks I have come to the realization that I could lose a few pounds and possibly have a new wardrobe to boot since most of my clothes pre-Aspen still don’t fit right, I mean I can get them on but by golly my friend you would not want to be seen in public with me wearing them.

I’ve struggled with my weight all of my life and so this isn’t the first time I have been faced with the need to lose a few. I am back to the weight I was married at, which in the grand scheme of my weight woes is really not bad at all but still about 10 pounds from where I want to be. Probably more information than my dear readers wanted to know but hey this is about my bouts as a mother and my weight gets grouped in there too especially since I’ve been packing this extra weight because I needed to gain all those 40 pounds FOR my dearest Aspen. (Wait…did I say 40? I meant 50!!!!!!!! Even after being very careful I still managed to gain almost twice the recommended amount, quite the over-achiever, no?)

Whew now that I have that little number off my chest I feel, I don’t know, well a little lighter. So having an epiphany, such as the need to lose a few, comes with the need to find a solution and in today’s world I thought what I need is a quick fix, after all, who doesn’t want a quick fix?

My first thought was to get pregnant again. That would satisfy several of my issues at once, not only would I not need to lose these pesky pounds but I could have an excuse to eat whatever, whenever I wanted and really there is no need to actually consider the fact that those 9 months of gestating would create another human to which I would be responsible. Wait…that would mean I would be responsible for three small humans under the age of three and people I may be a little crazy but that is lock me up in cell with padding crazy. Not that if it were to happen I couldn’t get a grip and figure it out, it’s just not a feasible way out of a few measly little pounds.

“Hmmm” I thought.

While at my local pharmacy I happened upon a sign for Alli, the newest weight loss pill, the only one of its kind FDA approved, and that of course sparked my interest. Alli, pronounced Ally, is a pill whose name is synonymous with friend, supporter, and partner, now has my attention because don’t we all want a friend, supporter and partner on our ventures in weight loss? Upon further investigation I find that the pill works by preventing your body from absorbing some of the fat you eat, which on the surface seems very logical.

I think to myself, “Ok it wants to be my friend, supporter and partner while blocking some of the fat in my food, there must be a God after all.”

But then it hits me, hmm, how could it possibly prevent my body from absorbing fat and if it does indeed prevent it where on earth does it end up? According to Alli, the active ingredient in Alli attaches to some of the natural enzymes in the digestive system, preventing them from breaking down about a quarter of the fat you eat. Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
Did you read that last sentence? I may recognize it in the toilet? This is not good. I had to stop there because I am just not that desperate to see anything that resembles a pizza in the toilet. But my dear readers if you do end up trying this drug let me know how it works and what your toilet looks like, I don’t know maybe you could take a picture for me, I am curious to what exactly unabsorbed fat in my toilet looks like, just not curious enough to put into my own system. So that option is out.

After a few days of the searching I decided that there probably is no quick solution to my problem because the weight came on gradually it’s going to have to come off in the same manner. So, in an effort to get fit along with my weight loss goals I have started a running program with Ali (who surprisingly resembles the definition of an ally), in 9 weeks it is said to get me from my couch to running 5K or 3.1 miles for those of you non-runners out there, we are at the end of week 3 and I can say that so far I can tell you that if it keeps up I am may just be a running fool. Hopefully, a running fool weighing 10 pounds less than when she started.

A Birthday Story

Let me give this story to you in pictures, after all, they do seem to speak 1000 words.

The Portrait of a Mother who arrived home with the birthday girl 10 minutes after the party was supposed to start.

Apparently I was channeling my inner crazy and couldn’t hide it even if I wanted to.

Shall we take a closer look at those eyes?
Whoa! Those eyes scream, someone, anyone grab a dish and start flinging food in the general direction of the table, for the love of God somebody do something. A big thanks to Jim for taking this picture, without you there would have been no evidence I even attended her birthday, even if you did capture my inner crazy.

She’s all, hello, I’m waiting, hey mister give me something to nosh on would ya.

This hairdo is brought to you courtesy of Aunt Ali, Aspen won’t let me near her to torture her in such evil ways, although I try because really isn’t that the cutest hairdo you have ever seen? I mean really?

Because it’s my party and I’ll pout and gnaw on my baby doll if I want to.

Just Horsin’ Around, ya’ll!

One cute & very sexy Daddy for SALE.

I don’t think this is exactly what Nana had in mind when she bought this.

Cake, Aspen, Aspen, Cake.

Even her brother was all, how lame, here move over let me see if I can help.
But even then, they were still pretty tame.

And they all went home cracked out on sugar. The end.

Newsletter: Aspen Month Twelve

(I will update with Photos soon!)

Dear Aspen,

Happy first Birthday my sweet baby girl!

My entire childhood I dreamed of having a baby girl and Aspen somehow I was blessed with you – a little girl who is sweet and kind but knows what she wants.

From the second I found out I was pregnant with you panic set in and I am still not sure why. My pregnancy with you was difficult, but really I just suck at being pregnant so that was not at all surprising, because for whatever reason anything and everything that occurred was more than a little dramatic and really that still hasn’t stopped. Your delivery was no exception – picture a spinal that didn’t take and the most painful 45 minutes of my life followed by shock which even included blue lips. After meeting you for the first time I had decided it was worth every minute of suffering and I would do it again a million times over just to have you safe and sound in my arms.

The first year of your life has been nothing short of amazing because after all just one year ago you didn’t even have control of your head and now just 12 months later you are walking around like you have been doing it your whole life. I guess this is the part where I confess, you are going much faster than I would like or even expected you to go and I’ve said it before and it has to be said again SLOW DOWN. In case you haven’t noticed yet I am a little bit of a worrier. Even before you were born I noticed that although you and your brother are almost 2 years apart in age you will be only one year apart in school and let me tell you this tidbit of information has rocked my world since I found out. But the longer I know you the more I realize everything will be just fine as long as you ignore me berating around telling you to slow down instead go ahead, pick up a book and start reading.

Just one day before you turned 1 year old you started to get very picky about your seating arrangement at daycare. Silly, right? Oh no, apparently to a 1 year old who knows what she wants this is not something to be taken lightly. You have started insisting that you sit at the table with all of the other children and that anything that resembles a high chair should not have you in it. You spent most of your birthday sitting at the table with your brother – a very cute sight indeed.

It seems in the last week you have discovered a whole new world – a world which includes people besides me. I know I have said this before but you have always been a mama’s girl and recently you and your father have been getting along quite famously. In fact, recently your brother has been insisting he go on my walks in the evening which leaves your father and you lots of time together and you’ve taken to his four-wheeler. The other night he thought you just might burst when he had taken you out of sight of the four-wheeler, he only got you settled when he brought you back to the four-wheeler. I have always told him you are going to be his shadow and I think he’s still surprised at how much you enjoy what he enjoys.

Aspen, thank you for showing me that I had enough love in my heart for more than one child, thank you for teaching me that not all children are alike and thank you for loving me as much as I love you!

Happy birthday, baby sister!

Love, Mama

Weekend Highlights

First of all I must say my in-laws are pretty freaking SPECTACULAR!!! I say this because I only sent our invitations to our party 7 days before the actual party and do you know that every one of them who was in town attended? Apparently they just need to hear the word PARTY and they stop everything, give you a call to see what they can bring and head over to help you throw a spectacular party.

Yes, it’s true we had approximately 30 people over for Aspen’s first birthday and it was fantastic and had I not forgot my Compact Flash I would be sharing all the photo fun with you but as it turns out I was running late this morning and I’m just lucky I don’t smell like last nights work out. I will share some of the photos just as soon as I can.

Note to self, for the love of my sanity, never wait until an hour before the party to go and get balloons because sometimes the party place is understaffed and extremely busy. I purchased my balloon order at 11 am and walked out with my balloons 10 minutes before the guests were expected to arrive, 50 minutes later. Luckily our family isn’t very punctual because I still had guacamole to make.

And on that note the story of the guacamole. So, I love Pioneer Woman, I suggest everyone read her because she is quite the storyteller and also quite the cook. I got this fabulous Pico de Gallo recipe from her. Turns out I’m a sissy. I followed the recipe but the Pico de Gallo made my mouth BURN actually BURN is an understatement it was more like my mouth was scorched, something similar is going on in Montana.

Bob’s mom did not believe me and after one bite I thought she might just cry right there in the middle of my kitchen.

“What did you do to that,” she exclaimed.

I simply told her I followed a recipe which in her mind is blasphemous because surely no one actually follows a recipe.

I sat there in my kitchen heartbroken because I love me some Pico and chips and the disaster I had on my hands did not lend itself to pleasant Pico and Chips experience. In fact, I even thought of calling my sister and insisting she bring every Spanish relative of her boyfriend over because after all I think that in order to enjoy the hotness that was happening in that bowl I think it was a requirement to be of Spanish decent. Luckily I had a plan B, for some reason while at Costco earlier that day I had passed by bulk avocados and was inclined to purchase them, even though at the time I had no use for them.

At the end of the recipe, Pioneer Women, states that a quick way to make great guacamole is to simply add the Pico to some avocados. And viola, the guacamole turned out to be the hit of the party and all was not lost.

Note to self, remove seeds and innards, dice jalapeno and then add back in the innards a little at a time. All in all a great recipe but trust me that Pico may be a tad spicy. And, also, my sister did tell me there is just no way of knowing how hot your jalapeno will be, so be careful people.

Tractor Love

Angry Eyes

The Spot

If Aspen happens to escape to the backyard I always seem to find her here. This is her spot.

Work Fug

Do you know the price of a pair of good work boots?

Me either, that is, until yesterday.

The price is generally somewhere between $70 and $100.

After, finding out how much a pair of work boots cost I almost walked out of the store from sticker shock. I sat there next to the boots, took a deep breath, collected myself and got it together. After all, I needed boots, for tomorrow and obviously I had no choice other than to suck it up and find something that fit.

Wait, what? You don’t know why a girl like me would need a pair of work boots? Oh! Let me step back a minute and explain.

I work in the construction business, however, I work pretty far removed from actual projects, in fact, I generally work with projects that have been finished and are in the claim process which would never necessitate a need for ‘construction work’ attire or ‘Fug’ as I have been referring to it as of late.

Unfortunately, for me, we have acquired a job which requires our company, the measly 2 of us, to take over and manage through the end of completion, which on the positive side should be finished by October but from the pessimistic perspective could take until January to complete.

This means that, I am officially a Project Manager. Fancy title, right? Well, yes, I suppose, but one I would rather not come until well, ever. See, I love my job and I’m pretty sure it loves me. I get to hide in a hole, create elaborate schedules and claims for people who have been wronged. I’m the hero, if you will (Ha-ha, sorry even I had to laugh at that). Our small measly 2 person company does some of the best work in the field and I am honored to be vital part of it. However, upon hiring me, my boss has always had high hopes, that one day I’d leave the nest (or take over the nest) and get some real credibility in the field. Boss has always said one job that is all you need.

Ever since hiring me, Boss has scoured over opportunities trying to find the perfect fit for me to get my feet wet. Well folks the day has arrived, it was supposed to be today but it is now pushed back until the 14th and I’m relieved because I resist change with a vengeance although I’m sure I’ll adapt just fine. I hate the first few days of anything unfamiliar until I get into a routine and I’m sure I can do whatever task is put in front of me.

Okay, so where was I? Oh, yes, boots. So, yesterday I had 20 minutes to find me some good work boots, after all why would I spend precious weekend hours on such a task when I could use my lunch break to acquire the perfect pair? (Procrastinate, who me?) So, when Boss told me I needed some work boots I looked at him like he was nuts.

“What exactly should these boots look like?” I asked. (Boss wears Ariats and I think of those as something more for cleaning up horse poop than walking around on a construction site, but hey maybe that is just me.)

“Just find something to protect your feet.” Boss replied and when Bob caught wind I needed work boots he pretty much told me I needed steel toes.

You have no idea the Fug I had going on in my mind, just how stinking ugly could these boots be, were they trying to beat the one thread I had left of my fashion non-sense?

My experience was worse than I had ever imagined.

While standing in the aisle of the ‘most construction-y’ store I’ve ever been in I contemplated my choices, which by the way, for women, is quite small. I picked a pair which was less than $100 because I had budgeted $100 and no one ever should go over budget, especially on work boots. This pair also happened to be the most fashion forward pair in the store but I wasn’t in love with them. So I took the box and wandered around trying to prolong actually buying these boots because, people, they were painfully ugly even if they were the most fashion forward.

A few aisles away I found the clearance section.

“Oh, hell’s yes! Damn straight, I’m going to find me some work boots on clearance.” I thought. See apparently when I get excited in the ‘most construction-y’ store I’ve ever been in I get a southern drawl. (What? That doesn’t happen to you? Freak.)

Eventually I settled on a man’s pair of steel toed boots, one size too big, but people, they were on clearance. When down this aisle, still holding my fashion forward women’s boots, I actually had vision of a steel beam crashing down on the construction site. And I actually thought to myself, “The last damn thing I need to be worried about with beams crashing down is whether or not my feet are protected. I’ll be too busy crapping my pants.”

And with that thought it was decided. I bought the man’s steel toed work boots, one size too big, because I don’t have time to worry about fashion or the safety of my feet with thoughts of crapping my pants haunting me.

And for your viewing pleasure, The Fug! (Oh, and they were only $59.99, priceless really for giving my mind more time to worry about crapping my pants.)

Fuggliest Boots I've ever had to wear!

(Oh, I have actual pictures but they are at home. From the looks of that link I got them for a steal!)