And so It Begins...

The process of leveling our backyard has begun. It's indeed going to be a mudhole next week when the rain hits. Yikes!

Keeping the Monster at Bay

The time has come to complain a bit. Aspen has never been what I would consider a good sleeper. In fact she loathes sleep unless one of us is sleeping with her in which case she’ll nap like a champ. Although her sleep habits have left lots to be desired they have worked okay with our family. Neither Bob nor I have really suffered because of her sleep or lack thereof.

Until now. For the past three or four weeks she has been teething. Let me rephrase that. She has been teething for the better part of the past four months but only recently her sleeping has been disturbed. In fact, she often cries in her sleep, crawls in her sleep, latches onto daddy’s nose in her sleep or simply decides to crawl off the bed in her sleep. This makes for a restless night for all involved. So much so that I have been a Zombie for weeks. In fact I saw a picture of myself the other day and could hardly recognize the sleep deprived person staring back at me.

They warn you before you have kids that this lack of sleep thing is a real possibility but you never think you would be one those people; one of those tired, cranky people who complain about not getting enough sleep. I know once this passes I will easily forget what it feels like. But for now I am barely making it through my days. I thought this Zombie state was for parents of newborns, not the mother of a teething nine month old.

I was prepared for this when I had a newborn. I know what that entails. I know that you must change the diaper every feeding even at 3 am but this I was not ready for. The biggest difference is when I had a newborn I didn’t have to go to work. I could sleep when the baby slept. I could ignore the dishes because they were not as important as resting. As the mother of a 2.5 year old and a 9 month who works out of the home full time resting is not the most important thing. Getting us dressed, fed and out the door on time seems to be the most important thing. I am thankful to have a boss who forgives me when I arrive 15 minutes late because he was the father of twin boys who he claims never slept through the night until they were 4 or 5. I am thankful for him.

I am ready for this to be over. I am afraid to say she only has 4 of the 20 baby teeth we expect her to get which really means she is only 20% through the teething process. Which really means I am so in for it! For now I just hope to make it through my day without freaking out on the man who forgives my tardiness and long for the days when I feel like myself because I got some much needed rest. This monster who has taken over my body will only be suppressed by sleep which at the moment I cannot give her. Today I am thankful I work less than a block from a Starbucks.

The Bath

How to charm a husband

Call for him in a panic.

Tell him you think the baby broke the dishwasher by sitting on it when you had it open.

Watch him cuss and panic because he is certain she had broke it.

Then after ten minutes of this watch him reorganize the top rack in which you over packed and magically fix the 'broken' dishwasher.

An equation no one should have to experience

I was off work early today and decided I would pick up the kids and head to Costco. I grabbed Taco Bell on my way to get the kids since they had already eaten. Can you see where this headed? I've made two mistakes in the first two sentences.

The kids are happy I came early and Kyan was happy about the shopping adventure ahead of us. Midway through our shopping trip I realize I have to use the restroom. I have two small children and a shopping cart full of super sized stuff with me.

So we get in there with no problems. I choose the handicap stall thinking this is better than being squeezed into a tight space. I get situated with baby on my lap and the toddler is loose. Oh my God the toddler is loose. Better yet I don't have a free hand to catch him with. No sooner do I realize he is out of my reach he heads straight for the door lock. Oh lord let him not figure it out. He figured it out. So not only was I using the restroom with a baby on my lap but also I was using a restroom with a baby on my lap and all of Costco watching. After what seemed like forever a granny came to my rescue and Kyan was able to get the door latched again.

Whew! We were okay.

That's what I thought. Until the toddler decided it was time to flush. I thought no biggie if he wants to flush. Go ahead it surely cannot be as bad as all of Costco watching me use the restroom. I was so wrong. Just imagine for a second what Costco is like. A super sized wonderland. How could you expect your flush to be any different? It was the most forceful flush I had ever experienced. I had my butt washed, if you will. Three times! Thrrrrrrrrreeee times!!!!! All of this while still holding Aspen.

Note to self either use the restroom before you go to Costco or don’t eat anything with the word Taco or Bell in its name before heading there.

Save me the trouble

Exerting independence seems to be a common theme in our household lately. Kyan is constantly exerting his independence. Kyan rarely asks for help with anything. I will find him doing all sorts of things by himself. Last week Bob found him sitting with the entire Costco size bag of gummy bears. Obviously he was rewarding himself for a stellar performance in the bathroom. Why on earth would you need to ask to do to that?

Just this morning while I was getting ready to take a shower, no small feat with 2 little ones and a new puppy, I found him pulling dragging baby sister by the arm to get her where he wanted her, which happened to be into the bathroom, where I was trying to take a shower, so he could close the door. No need to ask mama if she could move Baby there, he'll just take it upon myself. Thank you very much.

Until this morning I never realized quite how lucky I am that both of my children have survived this long under my care. Apparently two year olds need to have their baby sisters where they want them when they want them there.

Newsletter: Kyan Month 32

Dear Kyan –

Today you turned thirty-two months old. This has been a really great month. Your love for the purple dinosaur, Barney, continues to flourish. Personally I love to hate Barney. I love Barney because you do but I hate that I cannot stop singing the happy songs all day long. Barney makes macaroni and cheese seem like a fairytale. In fact, so much so I find myself singing about it on a regular basis. Ask Nana or Aunt Ali or better yet the guy at the deli counter at the grocery store.


You have started a habit of talking in question. The question often has your answer meshed right in. “You’re making dinner, yes?” “Daddy’s at home, yes?” I feel like I have been warped into Jeopardy-land. Sometimes you prefer to ask a question and then a follow up. “We are having chicken for dinner?” “Yes or no?” Usually the yes or no part of the equation is quite demanding. Your sense of urgency on the matter comes across quite clearly. It’s as if you are saying yes or no, mama, I’ve got other toddlers dying to know what’s on our menu and they are going to get hysterical any minute, yes or no mama. I was shocked when you started doing this a few days ago. Your father was laughing hysterically. Because really it’s quite funny. Apparently your father does this to you. Daddy still has a hard time understanding you so if he’s getting frustrated by your answer he’ll demand a yes or no answer. You’ve caught on and love the laughter it ignites in the entire family when you do this.
You have let it be known that you do not want to participate in art projects. This is such a shame. I love your art projects. They are these beautiful creations in which I hope to someday in the very near future hang on my naked walls. If I ever get the frames. Or have your father hang them. In the very least I will file them in a drawer. I promise. If you promise to start participating again. Please. If this stage lasts much longer I am going to have to document this period as “Exerting Independence Period – No new work” Lord knows I do not want to do that.
During this past month we had the opportunity to celebrate Mother’s Day. Hands down I had the best Mother’s day ever. Maybe it was because you told everyone we saw that day to have a happy Mother’s day. Or maybe it was because when I asked you whether or not you had a good Mother’s day your response was “Yes I spent the whole day with my mama.” You served me breakfast in bed after letting Aspen and I sleep in. While getting my favorite breakfast your father also got you your favorite breakfast which happens to be the same as mine. A bagel and cream cheese from the local coffee shop. Apparently you didn’t consume yours fast enough because while you and your father were at the dump he threw away your bagel. Did you know that you spoke of this travesty for days? You would not leave it alone. Four days later you were still reminding me that your father threw out your bagel. I’m sensing that you felt a little wronged.

This leads me to want to talk about your eating habits. I suppose they are much like any other toddlers eating habits. You prefer gummy bears, chocolate and chocolate milk to anything else. To be honest I can’t say I blame you. Your father and I have tried to keep all the good stuff a secret for so long that once you discovered it it’s all you want. This isn’t entirely true. I have been sneaking you gummy bears since before you were born. This month you have just become too busy to be bothered by food. This notion of being too busy you have conceived from your father. Your father often tells me he is too busy to think about food because apparently, according to your father, that’s all I think about. It’s not all I think about but it is true that I need to be fed on a semi regular basis to keep the demons happy. The other day, while you had your friend Tristan over to play, I asked you to sit down to eat lunch and you said you were too busy. I gasped. I could not believe my ears. Then I called your father and blamed him for all of your malnourishment because he’s too busy.
You lost your pet Cracker last month. And by lost, I mean the terrible neighbor dog took his life long before his time. You grieved. You handled this situation better than anyone else in the family. You told everyone that Cracker is sleeping at Heaven’s house. We finally felt up to finding our family a new pet. We searched high and low. And mostly you just said this is not my dog. Finally after an exhaustive search we found the one. I have never seen you more excited about anything. Except maybe chocolate. We found our new family pet, Brownie. You go to bed excited for the next day because you get to play and take care of Brownie. Hopefully this is the start of a long friendship for you and Brownie.

I am not sure I can convey any clearer to those who love us just how lucky I feel knowing you and having the opportunity to raise you. Kyan, I love you!

Love,
Mama

Fast

When you lose a Cracker replace with a Brownie

Safe

The response to our futile efforts

Watch out she may be coming to your house next

Kyan has grown. He now towers over friends, who just a month ago were the same height. And by towers I mean he is now 3 maybe 4 inches taller. Of course this means that all of his pants look like he is waiting for a flood or a least a small wadding pool in the back yard.

The morning I realized that he had nothing that fit I thought for sure my eyes were going bad. Finally, the pants shrinking fairy (aka PSF) had made it to our house. She took all of Kyan's pants and shirts and had her way with them. One pair of pants she got to were so short when he put them on they looked like shorts. Luckily he is now diaper free and his pants don't sit right at the waist so we found him something to wear that fit okay.

Then I went to get dressed for the day. I pulled out the capris from 2 summers ago and guess what? She had gotten my pants too. Unbelievable. I mean who does she think she is? She isn't supposed to touch adult pants. She really did a number on my pants. I mean I could get them buttoned but then I looked in a full length mirror. The horror. The pockets did that awful pucker thing since clearly the pants were begging the pockets for more fabric.

I immediately told Bob of our situation. PSF must have thought she was invited to our house for the fudge brownies. But I had eaten them all. Evil fairy took revenge on my pants. If she thinks I'm going to leave her any after this she is mistaken. Be careful people she may be headed to your house next.

Rats!

Uh we have a slight problem here at Casa de Zimmerman. Cat sized vermin have taken over our back yard. I mean big furry cat sized RATS. Oh. My. God.

We have co-habitated with these rats for some time. They started by chewing through the shed. Yes chewing threw it. There they discovered dog food. Glorious dog food. Can you imagine how fat a rat can get given the proper diet? Huge. They dug under our grass to build a home. I think they started a new city. I imagine they have a disco and a few bars as well. That many, I swear.

I've grown quite attached to these vermin. In fact I even pleaded with Bob to let the babies live. I was fresh out of the hosiptal after Aspen was born and the hormones took over and I could not allow a mother to lose it's babies. The horror, oh the horror that mama was going to go through.

Bob is on a quest to take back the yard. Most people would set traps and catch them or kill them or better yet call an Exterminator. Bob finds it necessary to have target practice. Apparently Bob needs it since he has yet to actually hit one. I think they are just too damn fat to care. He actually asked me the other night to watch him shoot to see where the grass moved to see if he was getting close. Does he know that I couldn't see that even if I tried. Heck I can hardly see the road signs until 10 seconds before I pass them? No I never saw the grass move.

Seriously shooting varmint in our back yard. Who does that? My Redneck husband that's who. Hopefully we will be rat free very soon!

Funny Things...

Kyan: "Let show me what you want."

That was hard for me to even write. I try to correct him but in me doing so I ALWAYS mess it up.

Me: "Let me show you what you want."

Uh no, that's not what he was trying to say. But what he always means by this is GET ME THE CHOCOLATE. I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND. ANY KIND. JUST GIVE IT TO ME. WHAT? WE DON'T HAVE ANY? NO. IMPOSSIBLE. His father's son. No?
...

The new thing. It may be the new no. "You know better."

Aspen takes his toy, "You know better, baby."

I give him something he doesn't want to eat, "You know better." That one he usually uses his finger to scold me.

Daddy takes his truck to work, "You know better."

This kid is tough I tell ya. I guess I should know better.

...

Wowo uk = Yellow Truck.

Fofo eeler = Four wheeler

Normally saying truck is a non issue. However, mix it with yellow and it gets lost in translation. I'm just glad he doesn't try to say four wheeler truck. Lord only knows what that could produce.

Newsletter: Aspen Month Nine

Dear Aspen,

A few days ago you turned nine months old. This means that you have been outside of my womb for as long as you were inside it. At first it seemed you didn’t like it on this side that much, but in the last month you have turned into one of the most giggly, tender and joyous creatures that ever lived. You have finally warmed up to your relatives and not just mommy and daddy.

In the last month we have met Aspen The Person. You are no longer this little blob of a thing that I take care of and wipe up, but this flailing, wiggly little personality that likes certain things and really, really doesn’t like other things. You like sweet potatoes. You dislike green beans but if daddy feeds them to you eat them. This really annoys me. Daddy can get you to eat anything! To my delight I usually give him the honors since; you always eat better for him. You love your big brother more than anyone else. He cracks you up. You do not like it when he snuggles with you. I have to admit his idea of snuggling is a bit rough. However, the second he stops you look at him like you are very disappointed then you both giggle!

In the last week you just started waving. You do not always do the motion but you put your arm up and squeal in delight. You have never been prouder of yourself. You crawl with great skill although your favorite new trick is to stand. Most of the time it scares me half to death but you have, thankfully, mastered the skill of falling backwards gracefully.

It seems as though you have been teething for the last few months straight. You have 4 teeth with 2 more on their way. Teething makes you want to gnaw on anything you can get your hands on. Often you use me as your prime target, not all the teething rings I have purchased or toys I hand you. You have drawn blood several times and yet I still love you more today than yesterday. See that’s the beauty of being a mother. You always love your children, no matter what, even when they hurt you! Last week your father woke up to you biting his arm. His first instinct was to flick you as he was half awake and you were hurting him. You slept through the whole thing. We are praying your teeth come in soon, for everyone’s sake.

Last week was awful as we lost the family pet Cracker. You had taken to him more than anyone else. You are still reeling from his passing. Every night at dinner you still drop your Cheerios and look for him to come eat it up. Cracker always made you giggle. You see your father and I didn’t realize what type of messes you were really capable of until he was no longer here to clean up. Turns out the messes are quite large.

This month you said your first word. Da Da! At first your father and I thought it was a fluke. No fluke here. You look at daddy and say Da Da with the biggest grin on your face. You do like to say it all the time but when daddy is around you look straight at him and smile. Although this is fantastic it breaks my heart. I like to think that you have said his name first because that's what daddy's need. I like to think that is how you and he connect not because you love him more but because you need him to connect so instinctively you say his name first. I'll let you in on a secret. It worked. Your father beams with pride every time you say his name or demand his attention. You have your daddy wrapped around your finger.

I love you, Aspen. I love that when I leave the room you get upset and when I return it is though your world has just gotten a whole lot brighter. Aspen, I will always come back to you.

Love,
Mama

I Knew this Shed Would Come in Handy...

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

Aspen who are you wearing? A Guess Sweatsuit courtesy of Aunt Ali.

Mistaken Identity

“I've been meaning to tell you,” my heart sinks,

“Kyan has been saying Shut up.”

My brain immediately begins scouring the last few weeks, have I used this term? No. I am starting to sweat. Crap. Where did he learn it? It has to be us, who else could it be? She tells me that he hasn't been using it in context, which perplexes me even more.

Then it hits me.

A few weeks ago we were over at Nana's house; Kyan was playing with a toy on the ground. Out of no where Kyan’s toy flies up in the air.

I proclaim, “Whoa it shot up!”

To which Kyan replies “Shut up!”

Huh?

“Shot up!”

“Shut up!”

“Shot up!”

“Shut up!”

Mystery solved.