Open letter to my new job

Dear New Job –

I have to admit our first week together was a bit rocky. You really needed an IT person to help us get off on the right foot but instead you got me, a person who hates to read directions but thrives on a challenge and, Job, you offered me a challenge by golly, one I never in my life thought I was capable of completing but I did. Two routers and two networks later I officially got the temporary office set up so we never have to be plugged in and if I desire to print while using the restroom, I can, and I’m proud to say I did it all by myself.

Job, you really do suck but you keep me busy and the mind numbing boredom I was facing this summer really needed a facelift and, Job, you provided that for me, so I forgive you that you totally suck. Job what I really dislike about you is that you provide me with people I actually have to interact with and normally this would be a bonus but when those people are men who think they can ignore me, I get my panties in a bunch and my panties in the wrong place always makes me cranky.

Job, please know I don’t think you are all bad, there are things that are wonderful about you. You take me away from my computer which, my eyes can’t seem to thank you enough, and my body, it’s rejoicing as well. Apparently, when you walk 5 flights of stairs 20 or so times a day your body can’t seem to do anything but lose weight. Amazing amounts of weight, in fact, have been shed by my body. I dreaded the thought of having to eat Subway everyday, but Jared is right, diet and exercise are the right way to lose weight. Job, thank you for all this exercise not only is it good for me it makes my day fly by.

Job, please do one thing for me, hurry up! I'm starving!

Sincerely,
Slightly Disgruntled yet Slimmer Employee