I have a potty mouth, or as Bob puts it, I could put a trucker to shame with all the explicative’s I strategically place in my communication to get my point across.
When Kyan was a baby I started to ‘watch my mouth’ which lead to me filling in freakin’ or ‘effing’ instead of the better, more appropriate four letter word and as far as I am concerned my communication skills have suffered ever since. I didn’t get serious about this new filter until just recently – after all I thought if Kyan wasn’t repeating what I said he wasn’t retaining it, right? Not exactly.
Back in April we had our first public incident, while he only used the term crap, I was deeply mortified and vowed I would be more careful. We all know how that goes, for a few weeks I was careful then I got lazy, my current mouth is still a big improvement on my pre-mama mouth, though.
Bob & I do our best to catch each other then we make the perpetrator repeat the offense to make sure the children heard correctly because we wouldn’t want them to repeat incorrectly. Oh, stop. We don’t really do it that often, oh, okay, not at all but we do try to point it out to the other and usually it comes so naturally we are surprised when the other calls us on it. “No, I did not just say that, I would never say that in front of the kids,” while the other knows exactly what they heard. I guess that would mean we are both guilty, but by far, me more than him.
You can only imagine how surprised I was the other night when Kyan was playing with his cars down the slide while Aspen & I were on the patio and I overheard him, “F.F.F. Go you Effing car go.” Kyan actually used the real words not the fluffy ones I have been trying to use in their place.
I was surprised at my reaction, he was far enough away that it took me a minute to figure out what he was saying, but when I figured it out I couldn’t stop laughing. Laughing is what I do when something totally inappropriate happens and I should be angry but I laugh. Once I collected myself I asked Kyan to come over to where Aspen and I were sitting and told him that word was inappropriate and he responded to me that he needed to use it. I thought for a minute, my son just told me he needed to use profanity, as if there was no other way to communicate to the car other than resorting to profanity and I thought to myself, he is my son. Again I was laughing although this time I was laughing on the inside and with a straight face I sent him inside to tell his father what he had just told me, once he was out of my sight, I burst into hysterical laughter fueled more by the fact that I knew that I just sent our 2 year old into my unsuspecting husband who, sadly or not so sadly, would also find humor in this, than by the fact that curse words were flying out of my son like bullets out of machine gun.
A few minutes later my 2 year old reappears, unscathed, not crying and headed back up to the play-set to continue playing with his cars.
“Did you tell Daddy?” I said as he ran past.
“Yep!” Kyan responded.
Curious, I proceeded to the office where Bob and one of our friends were trying to fix the computer, to see if Kyan said the offending statement. After appearing in the doorway I ask what Kyan said to them and they both laugh and for the first time ever Kyan repeated word for word what I had sent him to tell his father, I have never been so proud. Of course, Bob being the enforcer, quickly told Kyan if he ever heard him use that word again he would be in a time out and it seems that has settled it for now.
But seriously, I knew Kyan had the ability to tell Bob what I needed him to tell him I just can’t believe this would be the way we found out. Next time, maybe we’ll try for something a little less risqué and I’ll send him in to tell Daddy to get me a beer. (Oh, stop. We don’t even drink beer.)
When Kyan was a baby I started to ‘watch my mouth’ which lead to me filling in freakin’ or ‘effing’ instead of the better, more appropriate four letter word and as far as I am concerned my communication skills have suffered ever since. I didn’t get serious about this new filter until just recently – after all I thought if Kyan wasn’t repeating what I said he wasn’t retaining it, right? Not exactly.
Back in April we had our first public incident, while he only used the term crap, I was deeply mortified and vowed I would be more careful. We all know how that goes, for a few weeks I was careful then I got lazy, my current mouth is still a big improvement on my pre-mama mouth, though.
Bob & I do our best to catch each other then we make the perpetrator repeat the offense to make sure the children heard correctly because we wouldn’t want them to repeat incorrectly. Oh, stop. We don’t really do it that often, oh, okay, not at all but we do try to point it out to the other and usually it comes so naturally we are surprised when the other calls us on it. “No, I did not just say that, I would never say that in front of the kids,” while the other knows exactly what they heard. I guess that would mean we are both guilty, but by far, me more than him.
You can only imagine how surprised I was the other night when Kyan was playing with his cars down the slide while Aspen & I were on the patio and I overheard him, “F.F.F. Go you Effing car go.” Kyan actually used the real words not the fluffy ones I have been trying to use in their place.
I was surprised at my reaction, he was far enough away that it took me a minute to figure out what he was saying, but when I figured it out I couldn’t stop laughing. Laughing is what I do when something totally inappropriate happens and I should be angry but I laugh. Once I collected myself I asked Kyan to come over to where Aspen and I were sitting and told him that word was inappropriate and he responded to me that he needed to use it. I thought for a minute, my son just told me he needed to use profanity, as if there was no other way to communicate to the car other than resorting to profanity and I thought to myself, he is my son. Again I was laughing although this time I was laughing on the inside and with a straight face I sent him inside to tell his father what he had just told me, once he was out of my sight, I burst into hysterical laughter fueled more by the fact that I knew that I just sent our 2 year old into my unsuspecting husband who, sadly or not so sadly, would also find humor in this, than by the fact that curse words were flying out of my son like bullets out of machine gun.
A few minutes later my 2 year old reappears, unscathed, not crying and headed back up to the play-set to continue playing with his cars.
“Did you tell Daddy?” I said as he ran past.
“Yep!” Kyan responded.
Curious, I proceeded to the office where Bob and one of our friends were trying to fix the computer, to see if Kyan said the offending statement. After appearing in the doorway I ask what Kyan said to them and they both laugh and for the first time ever Kyan repeated word for word what I had sent him to tell his father, I have never been so proud. Of course, Bob being the enforcer, quickly told Kyan if he ever heard him use that word again he would be in a time out and it seems that has settled it for now.
But seriously, I knew Kyan had the ability to tell Bob what I needed him to tell him I just can’t believe this would be the way we found out. Next time, maybe we’ll try for something a little less risqué and I’ll send him in to tell Daddy to get me a beer. (Oh, stop. We don’t even drink beer.)
2 comments:
Gotta love those little sponges, don't you?! The stuff you want them to remember and take in--like their name, your name (besides Mommy) the rules, etc--they don't and those awful things that you mutter once and swore no one could hear you...oh yeah, that's what they retain for years to come. Murhpy's Law, you know. Thanks for the laugh!
*ROTFL* too funny cause i would have laughed too. i dont use curse words around my kids...i dont really use them at all...but gabe for a while was walking around going dern it all the time (appropriately used at least lol) its all i can do not to crack up at stuff like that too!
Post a Comment