Uh we have a slight problem here at Casa de Zimmerman. Cat sized vermin have taken over our back yard. I mean big furry cat sized RATS. Oh. My. God.
We have co-habitated with these rats for some time. They started by chewing through the shed. Yes chewing threw it. There they discovered dog food. Glorious dog food. Can you imagine how fat a rat can get given the proper diet? Huge. They dug under our grass to build a home. I think they started a new city. I imagine they have a disco and a few bars as well. That many, I swear.
I've grown quite attached to these vermin. In fact I even pleaded with Bob to let the babies live. I was fresh out of the hosiptal after Aspen was born and the hormones took over and I could not allow a mother to lose it's babies. The horror, oh the horror that mama was going to go through.
Bob is on a quest to take back the yard. Most people would set traps and catch them or kill them or better yet call an Exterminator. Bob finds it necessary to have target practice. Apparently Bob needs it since he has yet to actually hit one. I think they are just too damn fat to care. He actually asked me the other night to watch him shoot to see where the grass moved to see if he was getting close. Does he know that I couldn't see that even if I tried. Heck I can hardly see the road signs until 10 seconds before I pass them? No I never saw the grass move.
Seriously shooting varmint in our back yard. Who does that? My Redneck husband that's who. Hopefully we will be rat free very soon!
We have co-habitated with these rats for some time. They started by chewing through the shed. Yes chewing threw it. There they discovered dog food. Glorious dog food. Can you imagine how fat a rat can get given the proper diet? Huge. They dug under our grass to build a home. I think they started a new city. I imagine they have a disco and a few bars as well. That many, I swear.
I've grown quite attached to these vermin. In fact I even pleaded with Bob to let the babies live. I was fresh out of the hosiptal after Aspen was born and the hormones took over and I could not allow a mother to lose it's babies. The horror, oh the horror that mama was going to go through.
Bob is on a quest to take back the yard. Most people would set traps and catch them or kill them or better yet call an Exterminator. Bob finds it necessary to have target practice. Apparently Bob needs it since he has yet to actually hit one. I think they are just too damn fat to care. He actually asked me the other night to watch him shoot to see where the grass moved to see if he was getting close. Does he know that I couldn't see that even if I tried. Heck I can hardly see the road signs until 10 seconds before I pass them? No I never saw the grass move.
Seriously shooting varmint in our back yard. Who does that? My Redneck husband that's who. Hopefully we will be rat free very soon!
3 comments:
haha i wanna see a pic of one of these guys!
No real pics- I want to keep my mental image of the rats and the disco ball!!! LMAO!!!
Aunt Ali
OMG-that is soooo bob--I think the
D-8 ought to take care of the underground metropolis-I wonder if there is a Wendy's??????
aunt Cyn
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