Saturday, September 5, 2009

For the love of CrackBerry please WORK!

While I've been, you know, BUSY and all it seems I can't get away from the computer, my cell phone, my email, my texts...the fact is, I am addicted to technology even if I ignore my blog.

The CrackBerry does not help.

In fact, that thing just adds fuel to the fire.

So, when you up and wash it, those faithful seconds where you search and can't seem to locate your lifeline, you do a quick backtrack because it simply cannot be the case that you have washed the darn thing, again.

Laundry, I was doing laundry. Oh sh!t. No it can't be. My husband is going to kill me. It has to be. No! it's not on the bed. Do not panic. Panic! Run for the washing machine. Search washing machine. No luck. It has to be. Damn it. I did it again!

And so, I sit, waiting to see if Popular Mechanics is right and that there is a possibility my CrackBerry can be saved. But, it is going to be days. Days! As in, quite a few DAYS! before I can attempt to turn it on!

You probably have absolutely no idea what this means because I know my dear readers are nothing if not reasonable people. It means, I am on hour number 1 without a cell phone and my right eye has started twitching, which after Googling such it turns out I may just be tired. Which probably the reason I washing the darn thing in the first place. I was trying to get some chores done when I should have been napping because apparently going to bed at 3am two days in a row only to be woke up at 5am by the puppies* can wear a girl out! I'm just sayin'.

On the upshot, maybe the good thing is that I'll start posting again...or you know, just spend all my time looking at my Facebook homepage waiting for someone to say something brilliant.

Either way, I'm sure I'll feed my addiction just fine.

* OMG, she jibblets, we have PUPPIES!!!! Yahoo! 4 toy fox terrier puppies who are weighing in at no more than 8 ounces. They are so cute they'll make your head explode!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Sometimes, it's just about SURVIVING

Have you ever wondered how to survive your husband's Facebook Farm Town game addiction?

I have.

It seems copious amounts of booze and chocolate does the trick but I have a feeling there is a better solution. I think someone should write a book.

Maybe you've wondered how to survive working until 3am having your youngest child wake you at 5am only to have plans to be a the area's largest water park all day?

You haven't? Well, I have and I've survived. It's called caffeine. Maybe you've heard of it? Really though, there should be a book about how to go Ninja Mommy and get your child back to sleep.

Maybe you've wondered what to do in case you run into a Bigfoot on your local hike?

For that? There is a book!

"Before there were DIY blogs, how-to clips on YouTube or Facebook groups, the Worst-Case Scenario books were there to get you out of a jam. To mark the 10-year anniversary of the WCS guide, Dave Borgenicht and Chronicle Books have launched THE WORST IS YET TO COME campaign, featuring a new blog offering daily how-to's, tips and trivia about surviving the worst."

In honor of the launch of THE WORST IS YET TO COME, I am hosting a giveaway. Two lucky readers will receive a copy of The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: Life.

To enter simply check out THE WORST IS YET TO COME and come back here and leave me a comment telling me your favorite entry!

Simply and straight forward.

Giveaway closes 7/29/2009 at 11:59pm. Winner announced 7/30/2009.

P.S. My favorite entry? How to Make Your Online Profile More Alluring. Check it out!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

And now I can add Master of My Domain to my Resume

Did you know Pirates took my blog hostage?

Supposedly my blog was traveling around Africa sometime late last week and the Pirates captured, held my blog hostage, and demanded large amounts of chocolates before they would even talk about giving my blog back.

They were ruthless.

And, I was a mess because I threw out all the chocolates when I started my diet. Okay, that's a lie, I ATE all the chocolate before I started by diet...two hours before to be exact. So, I had nothing to offer the Pirates. So, my only option was to figure out how to take it back myself without any negotiating with the chocolate hungry Pirates!

When I first discovered my domain had expired without my knowledge I was totally bummed. Where was I going to talk about all my issues? The Park?

But, after a day or so I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Relief that I no longer had to be witty or charming on a semi-regular basis which, let's be honest, is never a regular thing around here anyway but the pressure to be witty and charming is always there...looming in the dark corners.

After the relief wore off the panic set in. Day 3 of no blog. Epic panic. A panic so fierce the last time I remember this kind of panic I had just realized the only way out of my pregnant state was to let the alien out through a teeny tiny hole. The panic was intense and it crippled my ability to think clearly (as did the rum last night that I can still taste but that is neither here nor there).

After the panic wore off, determination set in. Come hell or high water I was getting my domain back and I was going to make my blog work even if it killed me and cost me a puppy or two.

The days wore on and I still couldn't get it to work. This morning I had all but given up and decided I was the Internet's bitch when I figured, what the heck, I'll give it one more go.

And hell if didn't work.

Apparently the only thing I needed to do was tell Blogger that I messed things up and then Blogger was all, Oh now I see your Domain.

And I was all, Who's the bitch now?

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